The hardest part about making decisions is just simply making it. I think once you've made a decision; it is just simple to go through the necessary follow through steps. I am at a crossroads and I'm tormented about what to do. I know what I want to do, but I am concerned about the burden I may create for Lance.
I have been employed with OCTA for almost 23 years, and for the last 10 years, I have been the assistant to the CEO. This position is extremely demanding, fast-paced, and HIGHLY HIGHLY stressful, Frankly, I am burnt out. A lower level support position has just opened, and I hesitantly submited my applicaton and resume today. I created the typical pros and cons list, and while there were multiple pros; there were only two cons.
I have no career ambition. Every executive that I have worked for has tried to mentor me because they recognize that I have far too much potential, but they often don't understand that my entire happiness and identity rests with what I do outside of work. My career is only a tool to sustain my "real" life. I try to earn as much money as I can to allow for more freedom in my "real" life, but you reach a point where you have to question if the sacrifices are worth it? I am under a tremendous amount of stress and it has taken a toll on my health. Being diagnosed with Crohn's disease is motivating me to seek a less stressful environment. Stress causes flare ups in Crohn's. I am constantly suffering from neck pain, shoulder pain, and headaches. I'm bitter and I've begun to hate stupid, stupid, stupid people. I dont like who I am at times.
I dont know if I will even get this lower level position, but I'm pretty certain I will be one of the top candidates. I have not told my new boss, but I do know he will not react favorably to the news. I may only be a measly assistant, but I do know this, I am the best. I have been told that by every CEO I have ever worked for....I am the best at what I do, and I'm very well known and respected by all transit agencies in Southern California.
What I really want to say is that I truly have the best husband in the world! He has been so supportive of my decision. He is so good to me. I know my decision is going to impact him, and that is why I struggle because I care very much about his own well-being and happiness. I don't want to burden my husband. He really is truly amazing! Have I said that before? I love love love love him.
So basically it boils down to $17.84 less a day, but once you figure how much Uncle Sam takes that will more likely be $15.00 a day so is it worth it? $15.00 a day less for my health and sanity? Yes, I think so.
I am a contradiction, and what I'm now going to say only confirms that I am a contradiction. As much as I am about emotions and people, I also like money. I am passionate when it comes to retirement planning and personal finance. I regularly monitor my accounts. I've worked for many CEOs, and what I learned from them is that I'm not going to retire poor. I may not have the resources to be wealthy, but I'm going to use whatever resources I have and effectively manage them so that I can retire comfortably. I have been actively involved in my retirement planning since my late 20s, and I started Lance on a proactive retirement plan. He was living day by day before he met me, but now, he is on a plan. By the time we retire, we are going to be very, very comfortable.
People dont plan for retirement and they are not financially healthy. This is one of the lessons of life that I value, and I hope to instill it in my children at a very young age.
I know I'm blabbing....My mind is alive with thoughts.
What I guess I'm really wanting to say is that I love my husband, and I'm so very grateful and appreciate of him for letting me do what I need to do and what is right for me even if it creates a need for accomodations.
I get down on my knees and say the most sincerest prayer of gratitude to you, God for bringing that beautiful man into my life. My life is SOOOOOO much better becuase of him. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
There really is nothing better in the whole wide world than a supportive, understanding husband. Amen! I know you'll do the right thing for you.
ReplyDeleteI know. Your dad has been truly good. I feel so relieved. i told my boss today that I applied. This job is way too stressful. I'll jump off a bridge if i have to do this for another 15 years. Plus, where I hope to go....it may be a downgrade, but there is more room for growth and movement. There is no where to go where I am now. Sometimes, you have to take a step down to take two steps up.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get the job! I think it will be better for you mentally and physically. And ditto what Jessie said. There's nothing better than a supportive husband. I would like to sit down with you when we visit and get financial advice from you. We would like to retire well too.
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