A Pathetic Birthday Ends On a Not So Pathetic Note

Lance returned home from the pharmacy to pick up my medicine, and he said, "I love you, and I love being married to you, but F*CK!! 

Lance:  I'm here to pick up a prescription for Elizabeth Wade.
Pharmacy Staff (heavy Asian accent):  We dont have no Elizabeth Wade here.
Lance:  Ok, can you look under Elizabeth Fellows Wade.
Pharmacy Staff (heavy Asian accent):  no. no.  No, Elizabeth Fellows Wade.  Who you pick up medicine for?
Lance:  My wife.
Pharmacy Staff (heavy Asian accent): that not her name.
Lance:  Do you have Elizabeth Fellows then?
Pharmacy Staff (heavy Asian accent): that not her name.
Lance:  ok, then, what is it?
Pharmacy Staff (heavy Asian accent):  It is Elizabeth Wade Fellows.  Ok, when her birthday?
Lance:  November 7.
Pharmacy Staff (heavy Asian accent):No. no...that not her birthday.  Are you sure she your wife? You dont know your wife birthday. 
Lance:  That is her birthday.
Pharmacy Staff (heavy Asian accent): no. no, not birthday. What your address?
Lance provides the address.
Pharmacy Staff (heavy Asian accent):  yes, that address, but that not your wife birthday...birthday November 17.

I couldn't help but laugh when he retold this story to me.  Yes, I have the most irritating name. Sometimes, I'm under Elizabeth Wade, Elizabeth Fellows, Elizabeth Fellows Wade.   I seriously wonder if other women who kept their maiden name and their husband's last name have these kind of issues.  I also have two birthdays....my real birthday November 7, and then my legal birthday of November 17.

My real birthday fell during the Ragnar weekend so we didn't really celebrate it.  Several days passed, and I tried to schedule a family birthday dinner to celebrate, but then someone in the family always had something going on....either Lance had to be in San Diego or Dylan had a basketball game or Brandon had a flag football game.  My birthday celebration just kept getting postponed and cancelled, and it was being worked around everyone else's schedule. Everyone else and everything else was a priority.   My REAL birthday came and went.  My LEGAL birthday came and went.  NOTHING...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING was done.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm a very low maintenance woman.  I'm the type of woman who can pull to the side of the road to pee.  I'm the type of woman who can pee into a bucket and throw it overboard.  I'm the type of woman who can sleep in a bed with sawdust. .  I'm the type of woman who can get her hands dirty and do tough manual labor.  I'm the kind of woman who doesn't need fancy shoes, expensive jewelry or designer clothes.  I'm the kind of woman who doesn't need five star hotels or restaurants.  I dont need anything elaborate....a simple dinner, a cake, and heartfelt cards were all that my heart desired.

It was hurtful so I had a breakdown one night.  I was feeling completely taken for granted and insignificant. I'm certain many mothers feel this way....you make sacrifices for the entire family, and then you get unnoticed.  You go way out of your way to make everything special for everyone, but no one really takes initiative to do anything for you.   Without mothers, every holiday or celebration would basically suck.  We do everything.  We truly are the glue that holds the family together.   After expressing my feelings, Lance felt guilty and frankly, he should.  One night, I came home from work, and he cooked dinner, bought a cake, and lit a fire in our patio.  It was simple but couldn't have been more perfect, and I felt appreciated and loved.  The kids made me the most inventive coupons.  Dylan made me put my John Hancock on a binding contract that the coupons were non transferrable and that they could only be redeemed once, and I must honor the expiration date.  He had some creative ideas such as a $5 dollar discount on allowances.  Mia copied Dylan's idea and made me coupons as well such as "Dont do laundry.  Don't do dishes.  Don't clean the bathroom."  After thanking her, I asked her if I didn't do these things then how would they get done? Who would do them? She replied, "Commander or Dylan."  Hahaha!

We finally were able to celebrate my birthday at a fondue restaurant, the Melting Pot.  ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS!  We started off with two cheese fondues, followed by filet mignon, ahi tuna, chicken, ravioli, and my favorite lobster.  We ended the meal with a white and milk chocolate fondue and a truffle fondue, and we had various fruit and mini cakes to dip.  The entire meal was an event.  It took us 2.5 hours to eat.  It wasn't just about the food, but the experience!

So what started off as a real crapper kind of birthday ended up not-so-bad.....

Lance still has not given me my gift.  Again, I don't want much.  I just want a romantic love letter from him.  He wanted to buy me earrings or another wedding ring.  Yes, I lost mine again, but I told him that whatever money he was going to use on my gift, just give me the cash so I can deposit into our India vacation fund.  Ok, so that is not quite romantic.....but what I really want is the letter...every time he asks me what I want for birthdays or Christmas etc? It always ALWAYS remains the same because for me, the most treasured gift will always be words of love from my husband's soul.....

Ragnar Trail: McDowell Mountains

After last year's Lake Vail Ragnar Trail run, I vowed to NEVER, under any circumstance, EVER run another Ragnar trail run, but yet a few month later, I found myself registered for the Ragnar Trail Run in the McDowell Mountains in Arizona.  Huh? Say what??

The weather was our friend this time.  No rain.  No freezing temperatures.  It was cold, but it was endurable.  The heat was bad, but I would still take that over rain and cold.  Our team, Lost in Transit, consisted of 8 runners of which there were three runners that I had never met.  We traveled from Sacramento, Orange County, and Georgia. I absolutely love the Duran brothers (Jorge and Raul) and I have nothing but GREAT things to say about GG.  Ready Eddy, Krystina, and Kempton were the runners I never met until this race, but they are so good natured and fun that I got along fabulously with all of them.  AMAZING people!!

 The trail run consisted of three legs/loops (red, green, yellow) at 8.4, 4.0, and 3.1 miles for a total of 15.5 miles (per runner) of hilly, rocky terrain in the McDowell Mountains.  Every runner runs each leg.

We left Orange County Thursday afternoon and arrived in Scottsdale that evening.  We stayed in a local hotel, and we all met the following Friday morning in the hotel lobby before carpooling to the campsite.  Our team began the 120 mile relay at 12 noon (the slower the team, the earlier the start time ) and finished the following day at 1 p.m. so we ran for 25 hours.  In that 25 hours, there was always someone on our team running on one of the trails.

our team (we did a half ass job on the costumes.  It was suppose to be 60s/70s)

my $5 dollar thrift store costume

Dylan, GG and me....both these guys are wearing my clothes.   It takes confidence for a man to dress like this for fun.

I was fortunate because my first leg was the most difficult and as the race progressed, the legs got easier. I always prefer it that way. Get the hard one done when you are fresh and strong.   Dylan, however, started off with his easy run and ended the race as the final runner with the hardest leg. Poor Dylan!  Both Dylan and I had to run in the gosh awful heat.  It was in the low 90s--hot, hot, hot!  Brutally hot!!  We had to ascend up 500 feet in that heat.  I got my butt kicked and realized that I'm not in good shape.  I don't think I'm a slow runner, but I was constantly getting passed by runners who would utter encouraging words as they passed me.  It was kind of discouraging.  Was I that slow?  I've come to the conclusion that runners doing the Ragnar trail runs are in much better shape.  It's a different type of running. You have to navigate the uneven, rocky terrain. You have to climb hills.  It's also challenging mentally because you need to stay on the trail.  You follow these colored arrows (one for each leg), and believe me, it is very easy to get lost, especially at night.  You have to be really alert.  One slight turn in the wrong direction could send you off course for several miles. Also with such uneven terrain and rocks, you could easily twist an ankle or fall and scrape a knee. It becomes not only a physical challenge, but a mental one as well.

Before I even began running, I suffered a painful injury. A jumping cholla attached itself to my calf when I was trying to take a photo.  Dylan tried unsuccessfully to remove it amid my screaming.  I finally started heading back to the campsite, and several runners saw me hobbling with the cactus attached to me and my calf dripping blood. Several guys stopped to help me and thankfully, one had a knife.  He warned me it would hurt, but I didn't care. I just wanted it off, and fortunately, he was able to get it off.  I put ice on the injury to minimize swelling and bruising.  It HURT!!

view of the Green Loop trail (the shortest but not necessarily the easiest trail)

before my first run (the 8.4 mile in the  Arizona heat)

taking off

finishing my 8 mile leg

one of the directional signs you follow along the trail.  These signs light up at night.

Dylan on his 8.4 mile leg

gorgeous Arizona desert

trying to cool Dylan off in the 93 degree temperature while he is on his last run

this is NOT my leg, but it could have been.

The village with runners near the exchange

Lance didn't leave OC with us.  He ended up arriving at the McDowell Mountains in the early evening on Friday, and I was just happy to  see him.  He brought coffee for Saturday morning. THANK YOU!!!!  He also brought hotdogs that we grilled on Friday night.  Our campsite was about 1/4 mile from the runners village--not exactly convenient.  In the beginning, we would all see our runner take off, but as the night came upon, and it was your turn to run, you walked to the village yourself with "no love." Our campsite was small too so all the runners were packed in there, and there was no space between the tents.  We were squeezed in like a pack of sardines.  You could hear every conversation so it was difficult to sleep.  I only slept maybe 3 hours.  I told Lance, "Please do me a favor.  If I ever think about doing this again or say that I'm even going to do one again, please, please please remind me that I am NOT having fun." 

This photo gives you an idea of how CLOOOOOSE the tents were....

making new friends

Having fun with fake boobies

Enjoying beer at our campsite

group shot at night

my GG

Yeah, we are camera whores!!  The entire bunch of us....

We used the back of Lance's pick up truck to set up our grill...If I never see a hotdog for a year, I'll be happy.  Too many hotdogs that night. 

I LOVE all my runner friends.  I love how funny they are....I love how open and down to earth they are.  I love their positive energy.  I love how they love taking pictures.  When I was finished with my 8.4 mile run, I was dying for water.  GG met me and I said, "water? Water?" He looked at me and apologized, "oh no, I forgot the water. I'm sorry....(pause)...but I got a really good picture of you." Ok then, it's all good. Haha.  These guys are so inspiring, and I love being around them.  They truly are wonderful, wonderful people.

Finishing as a team

Crossing the finish line. Dylan was the last runner.

Lost in Transit

When the race ended on Saturday afternoon, we were so exhausted and it wasn't just because of a lack of sleep, but the heat really did a number on all of us.  We returned to a hotel in Phoenix to take a two-hour nap before awakening at 6 p.m. for dinner.  GG took us to a happening place for ASU students.  ASU just beat Notre Dame in a game, and the streets, restaurants were lit up with activity and people.  I returned back to the hotel only to fall quickly asleep.

I'm really proud of Dylan.  When he finished, he did not look so good.  It wasn't the run, but the heat that kicked his ass.  He did much better than me and redeemed himself after his poor performance at Long Beach Half Marathon.  He is an amazing and inspiring young man.

Ragnar is like childbirth.  You hate it.  You don't sleep.  Your body aches, and while you are doing it, you wonder what the hell you were thinking.  For me, the hardest part of doing a Ragnar is not the actual running, but the lack of sleep but then when it is over, you realize it is   such a unique and memorable experience.  Why would anyone want to do this? I had to think about that, and the truth is that I like the bonding with old and new friends.  I like running in places I would never run.  When would you go out in the desert at night to run? When would you run across the 7-mile bridge? You wouldn't do these things without Ragnar. 

At night in the McDowell Mountains, it was a full moon.  No words could describe the beauty of the desert at night with the full moon.  Breathtaking!!! And, I was lucky enough to be able to run in it.  I was alone with the stillness and beauty of the night with the full moon glistening above.  There was always another runner near, but not too near so that I felt alone and free in my thoughts and yet safe and secure.

I've done 8 Ragnars, and ready for it? I want to do another one.  Yep! We are planning on doing Cape Cod in May 2016.  I know it is a way off, but it gives us time to plan and save.

One last note---Lance and I have this tradition that we renew our vows often.  This time, we renewed our vows in front of a giant cactus in the McDowell Mountains.  I know its corny, but it just strengthens our bond. Each time we travel to a historic or unique site, we always stop and recommit ourselves to each other. Initially, we just did it, but now, we've made it a goal to do it as often as we can at as many different and unique sites.  It's like getting married all over again. Yep, we were married at the Queen Mary, in Prague, Vienna etc and now in front of a giant cactus.

We renewed our vows at this cactus

Halloween 2014

It is really feeling like Fall.  It's actually cold, and it rained last night.  Thankfully, it rained late last night which allowed time for all the trick or treaters to get their stash of candy.

My sister and her husband always go all out for Halloween.  Their house becomes a haunted mansion complete with  a graveyard and live actors and animation.  Dylan is too old to trick or treat so he helps his uncle operate the haunted house on Halloween night.  Every year, there are crowds in front of their house as everyone is mesmerized by the decorations and the special effects.  It is very interactive even with theme music from Halloween playing.  The house is so dark with just a bit of eerie red lighting.  A live 10-foot Mr. Death guards the front door. He doesn't say a word, but his slight movement, gaze, and presence scares everyone.  Dylan is inside the entry way dressed as some creature guarding the candy which rests in a pot. Do you dare to take one?  Michael Myers stands outside the balcony with his face lit up by a green glowing light as the trick or treaters approach. And if you even dare to enter the house, Michael Myers follows you and stands at the top of the stairs watching and watching and watching....and maybe, he will follow you....

 The floor is stained with bloody footprints. There are body parts and even a decapitated head hanging on hooks and chains.  Bloody hand prints stain the windows.  Rats, crows, and spiderwebs are all over the cemetery and a zombie like creature is seen crawling out of the ground.  It is incredibly spooky, and sometimes a little too scary for young children.

Bloody footprints

the graveyard

Imagine this room darkened with just a red light....this is where Dylan stood hovering over the candy....and the music of Michael Myers filled the air

the cousins in front of my sister's house.

This year, Brandon was a white ghosts, and Mia dressed as a witch.  I'm not sure what I was, but I was trying to be a wicked witch too.  My costume was purchased at a thrift store for less than 5 dollars.  We went with my sister and her friends through the neighborhood to trick or treat.  I then returned to pass out candy at my house. We had many visitors. I love seeing the kids in their costumes. Buddy and Bella were surprisingly good.  They didn't bark at the trick or treaters, and each time we had a trick or treater, they walked curiously up to the door. Lance was in a grouchy mood.  He refused to take any photos, and he was not eager to hand out candy.  All the kids stayed overnight at Yvette's house because following the trick or treating, they ended up having a Halloween party with pizza, bloody punch, chips, and yummy cupcakes. I love that Halloween was on a Friday this year.  I fell asleep to the blissful sound of rain, and even though my evening was filled with horrific creatures, I slept soundly.

Until next year....and yes, Mr. Grouch apologized the morning after and said next year, he will be more in the Halloween spirit; otherwise, his costume should be Halloween's Mr. Scrooge.

My new friend on Halloween

Lance refused to take photos with me so I found a more willing friend.

Mia is a witch and Sienna is a gypsy.

Brandon as a chained ghost

Dylan's costume--imagine this thing standing over the candy.

D

the kids pose with one of the props from their Uncle Mike's Halloween House