Our Story (85 Percent): Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder (In A Very Painful Way)

I'm pathetic and abnormal, but I would not change it for the world. Lance spent the last four days in San Diego. His friend, Keith, came to visit from Texas, and they had a well-deserved boys weekend. Keith's son, Boyd, also joined them. Dylan met Boyd two years ago, and Dylan absolutely adores him. He could not stop talking about how wonderful Boyd is....I hope I can meet him soon.

Keith and Lance have been friends since they were teenage boys. Lance considers Keith a brother, and he loves him dearly. I'm glad they got to spend the weekend together, but I can't help but wonder what these boys did over the weekend. Maybe there was some strange male bonding that took place? I'm a little too afraid to ask. I prefer to remain in the dark; all I do know is that Jack Daniels was probably a participant in all the weekend activities. Seriously though, Lance loves spending time with his Keith. They are brothers.

These last few days have been difficult. I tossed and turned every night. I do not sleep well without Lance. We have been sending pathetic text messages to each other over the last four days. I know we have been together just over two years, but the passion in our marriage only seems to get stronger. I know most couples do well with a break. In fact, it is actually quite healthy to have a break, but for me, I say "f**k" these breaks. I miss him too much.

Dont get me wrong. I am not some clingy woman. I am far from being clingy. I am an extremely independent, self sufficient, strong, opinionated, outspoken, and confident woman. I have a very strong self identity, and I do not need my husband to feel worthy. However, I am so ridiculously in love with him. He is my BEST friend, and an absence that extends for more than a day or two transforms a healthy break to an aching heartache. I literally count the days and the hours until I can see him again. I think you can be both. You can be independent and your own person, but you can also love someone so much that it consumes you.

These last few days for me though were busy. I took the kids to their extracurricular activities (Brandon and Dylan's basketball, Mia's gymnastics); I cleaned the house; I took Buddy and Bella out twice daily for their walks; I went shopping; I worked on my boss' farewell gift; and I spent everyday at the gym. I looooooove to work out. I can easily spend three hours in the gym.

I want my husband to be happy. He truly does deserve these boys' weekends, and I will never stop him from doing them, but as a woman completely in love with her husband, I'll be lamenting and wallowing in overly dramatic misery until he returns. Again, I wouldn't change it for the world. I hope what I feel now never goes away. I want these absences to always feel painful. I want to always be that much in love with him. And one last note, I'm not alone. Contrary to Lance's rough, tough, testosterone-filled, manly man exterior, he is just as pathetic as me.

We are both the same in one.