Our Story (85 Percent): Strengthening the Blended Bond

I know it is difficult for Lance to not have all of the kids within a short distance from him. We don’t get to spend every holiday or share birthdays regularly so when we all do finally get to reunite, the time and memories are especially precious. Last weekend, our house was filled with the chaotic happiness of family. We had 13 people in our 4 bedroom townhouse. It was crowded, but it was a wonderful feeling full of love, laughter, and lots of noise. Our two eldest daughters and their families came to visit us for four days.

So how did we keep ourselves occupied and entertained?

The girls were off on their own on their first day because unfortunately, Lance had to work. In the evening though, we took the entire clan to see the new Disney film, “Planes”. We occupied an entire row at the movie theater. Lance whispered in my ear, “And you said we didn’t have a big family….look, we take up the entire row.” He is right, and the family is only getting bigger.

Friday was even more jammed packed with activities as we spent the entire day at Huntington Beach. It was the perfect day for the beach. We swam, played in the sand, threw a football around, ate sandwiches, and just enjoyed the warmth of the sun. I didn’t realize the beach could be so much fun. Frankly, I am not a beach person. I hate the sand. I also don’t enjoy sunbathing either. I thickly lather that 70 SPF sunblock. I think the beach and ocean are incredibly beautiful, but I like to admire it from a concrete location under a large canopy. Regrettably, I think the last time I took my kids to the beach was two years ago. The kids asked if we could go again. We live 4 miles from the beach so there really is no excuse to not go more often. Our grandson Jed didn’t care for the water too much whereas Carter was the complete opposite. You would think he was born in the water—he just loved it!

we set up camp under the canopy and ate lunch.

Not sure what kind of face Mia has....

The entire clan in the water

Lance with Lauren

Lance and I

Mia holds her collection of muddy sand

Lance with his girls and Levi

Brandon gets buried in the sand.

The finishing touches of getting buried in the sand

Football in the sand

Fun in the water

Lance with his grandsons

When we returned from the day at the beach, we celebrated Lance’s birthday with a small BBQ. We even played a few friendly games of volleyball and basketball. I think the best parties are the ones where you get to participate in physical activity. It counterbalances all the junk food you consume that day.

Saturday was exhausting even though we did nothing. We had a lengthy three-hour commute to San Diego. Summertime creates even more congestion so what normally is a 90-min commute took twice as long. Welcome to Southern California! By the time we arrived in San Diego, we were exhausted. We went to the race expo to pick up our bibs. Bron, Jessie, Dylan, and I were running in America’s Finest City Half Marathon on Sunday. Lance then took everyone to see Tide the Knott, our 70-foot yacht. In a few years, this boat will be ready for day excursions. The evening ended with dinner at Pizza Nova before we retreated back to the hotel at the Naval base in Coronado. It was an early night for us as we had to prepare for tomorrow’s early morning run.

It was Jessie’s very first half marathon, and she did AMAZING! I’m so proud of her. She ran with Bron, and in a romantic gesture and similar to what Lance and I did two years ago, they crossed the finish line together. She has a runner’s physique—tall and lean. I have no doubt that if she continues to pursue running, she can easily run a half under 2 hours.

When the half marathon ended so did our mini reunion. We headed back home to the OC, and everyone began the long drive back to their homes. It was a wonderful weekend.

What I found so cute and surprising was how Brandon developed a nurturing relationship with little Jed. Jed followed Brandon around, and even joined us in our car so he could hang out with Brandon. Brandon took care of him, making sure Jed had every need satisfied. I have received many comments from teachers, coaches and other adults about how caring, helpful, and respectful Brandon is, but I could not easily identify with those remarks because the Brandon I see can be a bully to his sister, Mia. However, during this visit, I finally saw the truth behind these comments. It was a highlight of trip…watching Brandon and Jed interact.

I also must add that Lance and I got to meet Levi Wade Nelson for the first time. He was born last August, and it was a year before we finally saw him. He is even more cuter in person. Chubby with beautiful blond curls...It reminded me of Brandon when he was a baby. He had the most beautiful curls.

These mini reunions have more purpose for me other than creating everlasting memories. It allows us time to develop and build our relationships with each other. It is a challenge to unite “step” families. Nowadays though, blended families are a norm and not so atypical. However, it does require effort and a desire to make things work. These meaningful times allow my kids to foster relationships with their stepbrother and sisters, and for me to do the same. Each reunion will only bring us closer, and that, for me, is the ultimate goal.