I'm F**king Superwoman!

Beginning of rant. 

 

Balancing a career and family is NOT easy, and I think I do a damn good job at managing the two. Yes, there are some sacrifices that are made, but in the end, I take pride in what I am able to accomplish.

I don’t have a job.  As much as I like to say that I don’t have a career, I actually do.  My career is at OCTA, and I have been employed here 24 years.  I have moved up the ladder, and though I serve in the administrative support category, my high visibility position is/can be stressful.  I’ve been in this position for over 10 years, and there are times that I stay tuned to the office activities on my weekends, evenings, vacation and days off.  I make $80,000, and I think I am well compensated for these afterhours so I don't complain, but I guess that's what makes a career different from a job.  I support the CEO and I interface with other agency leaders and local elected officials routinely. I have a lot of influence in my position, and because of that, it is stressful at times.  A tiny mistake can be seen and known by many.  My decision to have a career ensures my financial stability and provides me with options, and I want options. I am not wealthy, but I am comfortable.    I do consider myself savings poor.  I put aside a substantial amount of money into a retirement plan.  Each of my kids also have some money saved up for their academic futures.
 

I am raising three children.  I ensure their mental, physical, and emotional well-being.  They are up to date on every health prescreening.    Dental, vision, and health exams are never past due.  In terms of their academics, I may not be able to volunteer at their school every year, but this past year, I did twice a month for both Brandon and Mia’s classes.  I may also miss some of their school functions, but I make a concerted effort to attend at least 85 percent of it.  I am very involved in their academic success.  I think more so than many other parents.  I regularly log on to the school’s website to gage their academic progress.  I put in intense efforts so that Mia could catch up as she was at risk for retention.  After work, I would spend my evenings tutoring her.  What was the end result of this? She made dramatic progress and received recognition at the Fountain Valley School District.  I attend every parent/teacher conference.  I communicate regularly to their teachers.  I do my research in terms of the districts academic criteria.  Mia’s teacher told me that other parents are "not on it" like I am.  To me, I couldn’t have gotten a better compliment!  I attend 95 percent of my childrens’ extracurricular activities, and believe me, they are involved - Basketball, baseball, softball, flag football, gymnastics, cross country etc.  Oftentimes these activities necessitate parental volunteering, and I have stepped up and done my share. It is exhausting, but I put in that extra effort even if it means I am not home for  12+ hours because I am at some extracurricular activity. 

 

 

I am the responsible parent.  Every decision I make is motivated with foresight for the future.  I believe in planning for all the what ifs….if something happens to me, my childrens’ future will be secured.  They will have a house that is completely paid for, monetary funds to support them into adulthood, and if they have reached adulthood then funds to enhance their lives.  I balance that career to provide a stable future for my children.

 

 

In terms of my role as a wife, I shower my husband with affection and love.  I am a deeply passionate woman, and I give so much effort into my relationships.  For me, it is these relationships that give meaning to my life.  My career allows me to enhance these relationships.  I take the time to make Lance and the kids lunches every morning.  I do laundry weekly like a dutiful wife.  When his underwear has holes in it or his t-shirts are raggedy, I go to the store and get him what he needs.  I am aggressive with his health screenings too.  He is always current on every possible health screening, and this is due to the fact that I’m the one who schedules the appointments. I also took an aggressive approach to his finances.  Before he met me, he lived by the present, but I created a progressive retirement plan for him.  I established a health savings account for us as well.  Every other weekend, Lance goes to San Diego to work on the boat.  I don’t complain about his absence or the additional burden it creates for me to maintain the house. I know what he needs, and I encourage this need to be satisfied.

 

 

We have two dogs, and believe me, having two large dogs is a great responsibility.  We have to ensure they get their medical needs satisfied as well as their daily needs.  While my husband takes the burden of this daily task, on the weekends when he is in San Diego, the responsibility falls on me, and I tackle it.

 

 

I go to the store and keep the household maintained with all of its needs from laundry detergent to toilet paper.  If the household needs something, I make sure it is taken care of.  In terms of all the holidays, it is I who do everything to ensure this family has a memory to cherish forever.  From decorating to buying gifts and getting all the festivities done, it is I that take care of all of this.  Moreover, in terms of family vacations, I am the one who logistically plans everything. I make the itinerary, book the flights/hotel, and make every reservations.  I do it all.

 

 

There isn’t much time left for me, but the little time that is afforded, I choose to spend it working out. Working out is my outlet and it benefits my family because I am given the energy to do EVERYTHING. I never nap. I get up early every morning (even on weekends). Sleeping in?  Something I haven’t done in years. 

 

 

So where are the sacrifices made?  Yes, I don’t cook that much or that well.  We have to rely on Costco premade entrees that we stick in the oven. They actually don’t taste that bad.  I do cook sometimes (baking some chicken or cooking up some steak).  I normally try to make a complete homemade meal on Sundays when I have the time, but during the week, we will cook salmon with rice, chicken, tacos, or Costco entrees.  My cooking is not elaborate. I just don’t have the time.  Additionally, I use paper plates.  Lance use to complain about this, but you know what, it helps free up my time by allowing me to not do so much clean up after dinner. Yes, it is more costly, but to me, this is an effective strategy that allows me to manage the conflicts of these demands.  My house is also not spotless.  I don’t think it is messy but there are moments that it could use a really good cleaning.  Every weekend though, the kids and I have our list of chores, and we try to do a good cleaning of the house once a week.  I am teaching my kids the value of pitching in and having some household responsibilities.  They have responsibilities such as cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming their house etc.  But if you want to know if my family eats these elaborate dinners every evening, the answer is no.  If you want to know if my family lives in this immaculate house, the answer is no.

 

 

I am irritated when someone makes the comment that this is your kitchen ….blah…blah…blah.  I work an 80 hour work week just like Lance. Why is it all my responsibility to keep the house clean, dinner cooked and the kitchen cleaned?  When both parents work, the responsibilities do not just rely on one person.  I may have the vagina, but I have a career too.

 

 

Working stimulates my mind.  It allows me intellectual interaction with peers, some who are more knowledgeable and experienced than me.  I develop rewarding friendships and mentoring type relationships that provide me with professionally and personally development.  But what does having a career give me? It gives me  independence,  security, mental stimulation, and options. 

 

 

The most important thing I can do for my family, (and I think it is one of my greatest jobs)is to ensure my family feels loved, supported, and appreciated.  I go out of my way to tell them how much I love them.  I am not shy when it comes to expressing my emotions.  It is so natural and so effortless.  I tell my Lance,  Dylan, Brandon, and Mia daily how much I love them and how they are my world and life. There will never be any doubt of how devoted and how in love I am with them.  I am affectionate and expressive without any reservation.

 

 

So if I get complaints that my house is not spotless or that I don’t create great meals or that I use paper plates then so be it.  I’ll accept that because otherwise, I’m f-cking superwoman!!  I am not perfect, but I am able to be a great mother, wife, and have my own satisfying career. 

 

 

End of rant.