Father's Day 2014

Father’s Day was difficult.  When I woke up on Sunday morning, my first thought of the day was my dad.  This opened a floodgate of emotions that left me just sobbing.  I went and grabbed his ôm gối (Vietnamese translation: Hug Pillow), and I just sat in the closet hugging it tightly.  Sadly, the smell of cigarettes and dirty dog was gone.  In my efforts to ease the pain of his absence, I held that pillow as if it were him.  I prayed to God and just asked him if he could hold my Dad for me.  This is my first Father’s Day without my dad, and it was hard, very very hard.
 

I love my Dad.

The kids spent the day with their dad, which is where they should have been.  Lance was in San Diego on our boat.  I had the day to myself, and I got a hard workout in before I began my laborious job of preparing a meal for Lance.  I  wanted to do something ‘special’ for him to show my appreciation for all he has done for my children.

 

I cooked.  I cooked and drum roll, please….it came out wonderful.  Cooking is a pain in the ass.  Honestly, it is a lot of work, and I don’t really enjoy it.  I spent 2.5 hours in that kitchen.  Perhaps for more experienced chefs, it would be much faster and easier, but I had to carefully follow recipes.  It was my third time preparing lasagna, and it was tasty.  The last two times, I had to throw my creation away, but this time, it was at least edible.  It was a little dry on top, but I learned.  I also made this tasty cauliflower casserole.  Yum! It had a kick to it.  There was pasta salad with smoked provolone cheese that was splendid, but most of all, Lance loved my cream cheese/blue cheese stuffed mushrooms.

When he came home, we had a romantic dinner, and he opened his presents.  I only got him two pairs of shorts, which he needed . He also promised me he would not “work” in these shorts.  He has no nice shorts.  They are all ruined with paint and grime from the boat.

 

The kids came home the following night, and we had the leftovers.  They loved it.  My kids actually liked and ate the cauliflower.  Wow!  Because they were not present to celebrate Father’s Day with Lance, we went around the table, and I had each kid tell Lance something.  Lance begged me not to do this, but I would not relent.  We are going to take time to express our gratitude and love to him.

Brandon started, and he talked about how he was grateful for all that Lance does like coaching his basketball team, taking him on the little boat.  Dylan mentioned the same thing, and  when Mia spoke, she said that she loved going to “Home Depot with you because you buy me candy”.  It was so sweet.  The kids did the same thing to me on Mother’s Day.  Each expressed their feelings.

I feel so blessed to have such kind-hearted children.  They are so sensitive and considerate of others' feelings.  A few days before Father’s Day, Mia pulls me aside and whispers in a very grave tone, “Mommy, I only made one Father’s Day thing at school.  I don’t know what to do.  They only let me make one.”  She looked so troubled by this dilemma.  I told her that she could make something else at home.  She asked me who she should give the thing she made at school to, and I told her to just give it to her Daddy and make something at home for Commander.  You should have seen the look of relief on her face.  She truly cared  about Lance.  Dylan was taking a ceramics class, and he made three mugs: one for his favorite coach (#1 coach), one for his dad (#1 Dad), and one for me and Lance (#1 parents).  I loved how he could have easily made a #1 Mom mug, but he included Lance.  It was just thoughtful.

 

Mia's cute little card she made for Lance

 

I posted on my Facebook account about how Lance received a lot of opposition/questions as to why he would marry someone with three children.  Children are a huge additional responsibility, but they also give you a most treasured gift. To me, I think a child’s trust and love is one of God’s greatest gift so yes, he may have had to take on an additional burden, but the rewards are soooo much greater.  I had a lengthy discussion with one of my friends about this….she had just gotten a divorce and had four children, and she doubted she would ever find a companion.  Like me, she is independent and strong.  We were not looking for a man to take care of us or to save us.  We wanted someone to share our life with…..Time has passed, and the kids have grown these past years, but the relationship they have with Commander is beautiful.  He can be strict, unwavering and difficult, but I know he loves them and I know they love him. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

 

Bella loves her Daddy.