The Blue Gryphons

 

Blue Gryphons

I am so proud of Dylan.  He just turned 15 years old.  From the age of 9-13, he played regularly at the Fountain Valley Recreation Center.  When he first started, he was such a shy kid who lacked confidence. Each time he got the ball, he passed it.  It wasn't until his final year at the rec center did he blossom and become aggressive.  It wasn't because he lacked skill, but because he lacked confidence.  He was just as good as the other kids if not better, but he was so afraid to act.  Fear immobilized him.  I offered him a 25 dollar incentive.  I said, "If you play the last two games without any fear, I'll give you $25."  He did it. He conquered his fear.

Dylan LOVES basketball. We all do. When the NBA finals took place, it was our family ritual to sit in front of the TV screaming for our favorite teams.

Brandon joined the recreation center league a year ago.  This year, he played again.  Like Dylan, basketball is his favorite sport.  Lance and I came up with an idea of how cool it would be if Dylan got to coach Brandon.  You have to be 16 to coach, but I put in a special request, and because of Dylan and our family's involvement with the program over the years, they honored my request with the stipulation that Lance coach as well. Dylan would actually take over the practices and games, but his title would be assistant coach.  They needed an adult present.

The team is named the Blue Gryphons.  They practice two times a week with one game a week.  This is probably one of the best ideas I've ever come up with.  It brings Dylan and Brandon closer as brothers.  It brings the boys closer to Lance and vice versa.  It is giving Dylan a unique and wonderful opportunity to grow and develop leadership, mentoring, and coaching skills. 

Blue Gryphons

 

The Blue Gryphons had their first game today, and Lance and I were nervous!  I've seen my kids do so many different sports, and I never got nervous, but today, YIKES!!!  Lance even admitted to being really nervous before the game.  I was proud of Brandon because though he is still young in the league, he has taken a more dominant role as point guard.  I was so surprised and proud of Dylan.  He was walking up and down the courtside with his clipboard.  He was giving such encouragement and great advice to the kids. When the game was over, and there was the team talk, Dylan sounded so poised, confident, and well....he sounded just like a real coach.  He spoke to the kids while all the parents watched and listened.  He knows the game of basketball.  He is great with kids.  He has potential to do this long-term and just be AMAZING. 

I was worried because when he first had to call the parents up and introduce himself as coach, he was so nervous.  He wrote a script which he read from.  When we finally met the parents, they were surprised, but I think we have such a great team.  The parents are so supportive of Dylan being coach.  I told them Lance may not attend all games, but we would always have an adult present.

oh....and yes, we won the first game!! I'm proud of all my boys....Lance for doing this even with his busy schedule, Dylan for how much growth he has shown, and Brandon who keeps getting better.  I'm loving basketball, but I'm loving my boys even more.

One of My All Time Favorite Places - The Zoo

One of the reasons why I love Southern California  - there is an abundant of things to do especially during the summer. 

I work an alternative work schedule, which means I have every other Friday off, and I am determined to do something with my kids on each of these days.  I'm rather spontaneous, and I do alot of things at the spur of the moment so while at work last Thursday, I decided to take the kids to the San Diego Zoo on Friday. Lance didn't go.  He spent his time working on Tide the Knott.  I purchased annual membership for me, Dylan, Brandon, and Mia. We use to be annual members years ago.  I simply love the zoo.  I love animals.  They are just such beautiful creations from God. I do have mixed feelings about wild animals being in captivity, but that is another story.

 

We took the train from OC to San Diego.  Lance picked us up and we ate a quick breakfast at Del Taco before he dropped us off at the zoo.  The kids behaved amazingly well.  I was dreading a day of constant bickering and complaints, but they were simply wonderful.  The zoo is huge, and there are a lot of steep inclines. We were all exhausted, but I hardly heard any complaints.

We saw everything, but for me, the highlights will always be the elephants and monkeys. They are my favorite animals.  We saw a monkey like the one in the film "Night of the Museum", and this little guy acted like he was on TV before.  He smiled for the crowds.  I am not joking. He smiled and showed us his teeth repeatedly.  He posed for pictures.  He had such personality!  We got an amazing close-up view of the lions.  Wow! Such strength and incredibly beauty!  I was mesmerized. 

All these photos were taken by me!

This is my monkey who was posing and smiling for us!

I have been to the San Diego zoo almost a dozen times, and not once have I seen a Panda Bear.  There is always a ridiculous line, and I never bothered to wait, but Mia insisted on seeing it and so why not?  The wait was only 30 mins, and it was so worth it.  We got to see the Panda Bear having bamboo for dinner. 

We were very eager to see the Tiger.  We saw so many advertisements for the Tiger trail...."see it, feel it, live it" so before we arrived, Dylan and Brandon were filled with excitement. Tigers are their favorite animal so wait for it.....wait for it...wait for it....In the words of my son, Dylan, "I barely saw it.  I didn't feel it. And I definitely didn't live it."  We were laughing so hard. We saw half of the tiger's head and one of its paws.  We also saw him from such a distance; he looked like a spec. Well, we are members and we will get an opportunity again.

We were so exhausted with all the walking so it was such a welcome treat to sit on the skyfari and ride and get such an amazing aerial view of the zoo and downtown San Diego city.  As zoo members, there is no additional charge for us.

Great view from the skyfari

Even though we are members now, kids will be kids, and they always want a souvenir.  I hate spending money on overpriced souvenirs, and I always try to put a limit on the amount.  I was happy when Brandon and Mia picked this long tube of flavored sugar which they filled themselves.  It was actually kind of fun, but before we left the park, the four of us devoured that sugar.  Yep, we sucked up all that sugar.  Dylan didn't get a tube of sugar, but just got a coffee like me, but both he and I are guilty of eating straight sugar.

Filling their candy sugar tubes

We will definitely be back before the summer is over. We will also go to this Wild Safari park, and ideally, before our membership expires, I would like to do a sleepover at the zoo.  They have these events throughout the summer and at other times in the year. I think that would be just an AMAZING experience, and it is on my bucket list!

Father's Day 2014

Father’s Day was difficult.  When I woke up on Sunday morning, my first thought of the day was my dad.  This opened a floodgate of emotions that left me just sobbing.  I went and grabbed his ôm gối (Vietnamese translation: Hug Pillow), and I just sat in the closet hugging it tightly.  Sadly, the smell of cigarettes and dirty dog was gone.  In my efforts to ease the pain of his absence, I held that pillow as if it were him.  I prayed to God and just asked him if he could hold my Dad for me.  This is my first Father’s Day without my dad, and it was hard, very very hard.
 

I love my Dad.

The kids spent the day with their dad, which is where they should have been.  Lance was in San Diego on our boat.  I had the day to myself, and I got a hard workout in before I began my laborious job of preparing a meal for Lance.  I  wanted to do something ‘special’ for him to show my appreciation for all he has done for my children.

 

I cooked.  I cooked and drum roll, please….it came out wonderful.  Cooking is a pain in the ass.  Honestly, it is a lot of work, and I don’t really enjoy it.  I spent 2.5 hours in that kitchen.  Perhaps for more experienced chefs, it would be much faster and easier, but I had to carefully follow recipes.  It was my third time preparing lasagna, and it was tasty.  The last two times, I had to throw my creation away, but this time, it was at least edible.  It was a little dry on top, but I learned.  I also made this tasty cauliflower casserole.  Yum! It had a kick to it.  There was pasta salad with smoked provolone cheese that was splendid, but most of all, Lance loved my cream cheese/blue cheese stuffed mushrooms.

When he came home, we had a romantic dinner, and he opened his presents.  I only got him two pairs of shorts, which he needed . He also promised me he would not “work” in these shorts.  He has no nice shorts.  They are all ruined with paint and grime from the boat.

 

The kids came home the following night, and we had the leftovers.  They loved it.  My kids actually liked and ate the cauliflower.  Wow!  Because they were not present to celebrate Father’s Day with Lance, we went around the table, and I had each kid tell Lance something.  Lance begged me not to do this, but I would not relent.  We are going to take time to express our gratitude and love to him.

Brandon started, and he talked about how he was grateful for all that Lance does like coaching his basketball team, taking him on the little boat.  Dylan mentioned the same thing, and  when Mia spoke, she said that she loved going to “Home Depot with you because you buy me candy”.  It was so sweet.  The kids did the same thing to me on Mother’s Day.  Each expressed their feelings.

I feel so blessed to have such kind-hearted children.  They are so sensitive and considerate of others' feelings.  A few days before Father’s Day, Mia pulls me aside and whispers in a very grave tone, “Mommy, I only made one Father’s Day thing at school.  I don’t know what to do.  They only let me make one.”  She looked so troubled by this dilemma.  I told her that she could make something else at home.  She asked me who she should give the thing she made at school to, and I told her to just give it to her Daddy and make something at home for Commander.  You should have seen the look of relief on her face.  She truly cared  about Lance.  Dylan was taking a ceramics class, and he made three mugs: one for his favorite coach (#1 coach), one for his dad (#1 Dad), and one for me and Lance (#1 parents).  I loved how he could have easily made a #1 Mom mug, but he included Lance.  It was just thoughtful.

 

Mia's cute little card she made for Lance

 

I posted on my Facebook account about how Lance received a lot of opposition/questions as to why he would marry someone with three children.  Children are a huge additional responsibility, but they also give you a most treasured gift. To me, I think a child’s trust and love is one of God’s greatest gift so yes, he may have had to take on an additional burden, but the rewards are soooo much greater.  I had a lengthy discussion with one of my friends about this….she had just gotten a divorce and had four children, and she doubted she would ever find a companion.  Like me, she is independent and strong.  We were not looking for a man to take care of us or to save us.  We wanted someone to share our life with…..Time has passed, and the kids have grown these past years, but the relationship they have with Commander is beautiful.  He can be strict, unwavering and difficult, but I know he loves them and I know they love him. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

 

Bella loves her Daddy.

 

I'm F**king Superwoman!

Beginning of rant. 

 

Balancing a career and family is NOT easy, and I think I do a damn good job at managing the two. Yes, there are some sacrifices that are made, but in the end, I take pride in what I am able to accomplish.

I don’t have a job.  As much as I like to say that I don’t have a career, I actually do.  My career is at OCTA, and I have been employed here 24 years.  I have moved up the ladder, and though I serve in the administrative support category, my high visibility position is/can be stressful.  I’ve been in this position for over 10 years, and there are times that I stay tuned to the office activities on my weekends, evenings, vacation and days off.  I make $80,000, and I think I am well compensated for these afterhours so I don't complain, but I guess that's what makes a career different from a job.  I support the CEO and I interface with other agency leaders and local elected officials routinely. I have a lot of influence in my position, and because of that, it is stressful at times.  A tiny mistake can be seen and known by many.  My decision to have a career ensures my financial stability and provides me with options, and I want options. I am not wealthy, but I am comfortable.    I do consider myself savings poor.  I put aside a substantial amount of money into a retirement plan.  Each of my kids also have some money saved up for their academic futures.
 

I am raising three children.  I ensure their mental, physical, and emotional well-being.  They are up to date on every health prescreening.    Dental, vision, and health exams are never past due.  In terms of their academics, I may not be able to volunteer at their school every year, but this past year, I did twice a month for both Brandon and Mia’s classes.  I may also miss some of their school functions, but I make a concerted effort to attend at least 85 percent of it.  I am very involved in their academic success.  I think more so than many other parents.  I regularly log on to the school’s website to gage their academic progress.  I put in intense efforts so that Mia could catch up as she was at risk for retention.  After work, I would spend my evenings tutoring her.  What was the end result of this? She made dramatic progress and received recognition at the Fountain Valley School District.  I attend every parent/teacher conference.  I communicate regularly to their teachers.  I do my research in terms of the districts academic criteria.  Mia’s teacher told me that other parents are "not on it" like I am.  To me, I couldn’t have gotten a better compliment!  I attend 95 percent of my childrens’ extracurricular activities, and believe me, they are involved - Basketball, baseball, softball, flag football, gymnastics, cross country etc.  Oftentimes these activities necessitate parental volunteering, and I have stepped up and done my share. It is exhausting, but I put in that extra effort even if it means I am not home for  12+ hours because I am at some extracurricular activity. 

 

 

I am the responsible parent.  Every decision I make is motivated with foresight for the future.  I believe in planning for all the what ifs….if something happens to me, my childrens’ future will be secured.  They will have a house that is completely paid for, monetary funds to support them into adulthood, and if they have reached adulthood then funds to enhance their lives.  I balance that career to provide a stable future for my children.

 

 

In terms of my role as a wife, I shower my husband with affection and love.  I am a deeply passionate woman, and I give so much effort into my relationships.  For me, it is these relationships that give meaning to my life.  My career allows me to enhance these relationships.  I take the time to make Lance and the kids lunches every morning.  I do laundry weekly like a dutiful wife.  When his underwear has holes in it or his t-shirts are raggedy, I go to the store and get him what he needs.  I am aggressive with his health screenings too.  He is always current on every possible health screening, and this is due to the fact that I’m the one who schedules the appointments. I also took an aggressive approach to his finances.  Before he met me, he lived by the present, but I created a progressive retirement plan for him.  I established a health savings account for us as well.  Every other weekend, Lance goes to San Diego to work on the boat.  I don’t complain about his absence or the additional burden it creates for me to maintain the house. I know what he needs, and I encourage this need to be satisfied.

 

 

We have two dogs, and believe me, having two large dogs is a great responsibility.  We have to ensure they get their medical needs satisfied as well as their daily needs.  While my husband takes the burden of this daily task, on the weekends when he is in San Diego, the responsibility falls on me, and I tackle it.

 

 

I go to the store and keep the household maintained with all of its needs from laundry detergent to toilet paper.  If the household needs something, I make sure it is taken care of.  In terms of all the holidays, it is I who do everything to ensure this family has a memory to cherish forever.  From decorating to buying gifts and getting all the festivities done, it is I that take care of all of this.  Moreover, in terms of family vacations, I am the one who logistically plans everything. I make the itinerary, book the flights/hotel, and make every reservations.  I do it all.

 

 

There isn’t much time left for me, but the little time that is afforded, I choose to spend it working out. Working out is my outlet and it benefits my family because I am given the energy to do EVERYTHING. I never nap. I get up early every morning (even on weekends). Sleeping in?  Something I haven’t done in years. 

 

 

So where are the sacrifices made?  Yes, I don’t cook that much or that well.  We have to rely on Costco premade entrees that we stick in the oven. They actually don’t taste that bad.  I do cook sometimes (baking some chicken or cooking up some steak).  I normally try to make a complete homemade meal on Sundays when I have the time, but during the week, we will cook salmon with rice, chicken, tacos, or Costco entrees.  My cooking is not elaborate. I just don’t have the time.  Additionally, I use paper plates.  Lance use to complain about this, but you know what, it helps free up my time by allowing me to not do so much clean up after dinner. Yes, it is more costly, but to me, this is an effective strategy that allows me to manage the conflicts of these demands.  My house is also not spotless.  I don’t think it is messy but there are moments that it could use a really good cleaning.  Every weekend though, the kids and I have our list of chores, and we try to do a good cleaning of the house once a week.  I am teaching my kids the value of pitching in and having some household responsibilities.  They have responsibilities such as cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming their house etc.  But if you want to know if my family eats these elaborate dinners every evening, the answer is no.  If you want to know if my family lives in this immaculate house, the answer is no.

 

 

I am irritated when someone makes the comment that this is your kitchen ….blah…blah…blah.  I work an 80 hour work week just like Lance. Why is it all my responsibility to keep the house clean, dinner cooked and the kitchen cleaned?  When both parents work, the responsibilities do not just rely on one person.  I may have the vagina, but I have a career too.

 

 

Working stimulates my mind.  It allows me intellectual interaction with peers, some who are more knowledgeable and experienced than me.  I develop rewarding friendships and mentoring type relationships that provide me with professionally and personally development.  But what does having a career give me? It gives me  independence,  security, mental stimulation, and options. 

 

 

The most important thing I can do for my family, (and I think it is one of my greatest jobs)is to ensure my family feels loved, supported, and appreciated.  I go out of my way to tell them how much I love them.  I am not shy when it comes to expressing my emotions.  It is so natural and so effortless.  I tell my Lance,  Dylan, Brandon, and Mia daily how much I love them and how they are my world and life. There will never be any doubt of how devoted and how in love I am with them.  I am affectionate and expressive without any reservation.

 

 

So if I get complaints that my house is not spotless or that I don’t create great meals or that I use paper plates then so be it.  I’ll accept that because otherwise, I’m f-cking superwoman!!  I am not perfect, but I am able to be a great mother, wife, and have my own satisfying career. 

 

 

End of rant.

Camping with an OCD Dog is NOT Fun!

Lake Elsinore

Camping?  Is it supposed to be relaxing? Is everyone supposed to have fun and get warm fuzzy feelings about each other?  Well, our family camping trip this past weekend at Lake Elsinore was filled with a high-level stress that left us irritable and snappy at each other. 

We are just stupid.  We are so damn stupid!  We purchased a brand new 8-person tent to go with the 4-person tent we already had.  We had never set up this tent before so it was extremely bright of us to arrive at our campsite at 730 p.m. to set up this tent in the dark. Who does that? Dumb asses!  It took awhile for us to set up the campsite.  It did not help that we had Buddy.  The moment Buddy saw the water, he would not calm down.  He huffed and puffed and pulled on the leash with all his might.  I finally let him go, and he raced to the water. When Buddy sees water, he becomes OCD.  Lance was frustrated.  I was frustrated, but at the same, it was funny.  It was just a freaking mess!

 

Campsite finally set up

 

When Lance and Dylan finally set up the tents, we made some grilled cheese sandwiches.  I had to get Buddy out of the water, but he wouldn’t listen to me so Lance got him out.  We then had to tie him to the boat trailer, and he was being completely obnoxious.  He would not sit still and was pacing everywhere and knocking sh*t over.  He would not just sit still.  Bella, on the other hand, was perfect!

When we finally went to bed, the dogs were wet from their swim, and I thought they would just lay on the floor of the massive tent we bought.  It was huge.  But, nooooo, our dogs are wimps and quickly jumped onto Lance and my bed.  They were wet and got the blankets soaking wet.  I slept with wet blankets in a distorted configuration because I was smushed by 80 lbs of wet dog.  Lance slept on the hard tent floor because the Buddy had pushed him off the bed.  What was wrong with us? Did we actually expect our dogs to sleep on the hard floor?

 

Inside the tents ready for a sleepless night with wet wimpy dogs

early morning

Before we went to bed, we both said we were not staying another night.  It was our plan to make this a two-night camping trip, but two nights was not going to happen.  Hell no! Not with Buddy.

We woke up very early as the sun shined through the tent.  Lance made us eggs and bacon on this new awesome grill we bought.  We sat by the water’s edge and watched the kids and dogs play.  Buddy swam in circles. Annoying.
 

Yummy BBQ with our new awesome grill!  We had coffee too!

Enjoying coffee by the lake side--yes, we may have been smiling, but we were irritated by Budster.

Lance and Dylan later took the dogs out for a ride on the lake.  I was so happy to be away from Buddy.  Mia, Brandon, and I played by the water’s edge and just relaxed at the campsite.  It was heaven without Buddy.  Peace.  Peace.  Peace.

 

They returned an hour or so later and took all of us to a nice private cove they found on the lake.  It was so perfect.  We wished we had camped there because it was so isolated from everyone and everything.  Buddy again swam in circles. 

 

trying to relax and yes, I had a cooler. 

 We returned to the campsite and BBQd some chicken and bratwurst.  Buddy and Bella were simply exhausted.  They had swam so much.  They had not napped at all.  The previous night, they were restless in the tent.

 

We finally get to relax.  This was the first time Buddy actually laid down...and unfortunately, it was right before we were planning to leave.

The thing about Buddy is that he does not know his limits.  When we drove to Lake Elsinore, he stood up in the truck bed during the entire drive. He never laid down during our camping except at night.  When he wasn’t swimming, he was huffing and puffing and pacing.  We returned home late Saturday afternoon, and both dogs crashed.

Would we do this again?  Camping with Buddy isn’t fun, but regardless, I think we will try it again.  Maybe Lake Arrowhead?  When we do go again, we are definitely going to give Buddy some Xanax before the trip.  (We love Buddy dearly, but he was a nightmare on this trip!)

 

well behaved Bella