There is Another Reason to Celebrate Valentine's Day!

Valentines Day is extra special for me.   It is the day God blessed me with Brandonio(nicknamed given to Brandon by Dylan).  Brandon Joaquin Bivens was born at noon on February 14, 2005.  I woke up at 5:30 a.m. that morning having cramps.  Five-year old Dylan was home from school as it was a school holiday.  I endured the first four hours of constant cramping at home.  However, as the cramps became more and more frequent, I knew the baby was coming.  This was not a false alarm.  I had called my mom who was at work, and she phoned my aunt who was not at work to drive me to the hospital.   I arrived at the hospital around 10:30 a.m. and I was quickly admitted because I was already 8 mm dilated. For those who don’t know, you start pushing at 10 mm.  My mom and Jacob (Brandon’s dad) arrived shortly after followed by Nana who came to take care of Dylan.  I did not have an epidural as I was already too far along.  I did not even have a full dosage of morphine.  I was only given a half dose.  Yes, I’m boasting about the fact that I went through labor with minimal drugs.  I started pushing at 11:45 a.m. and he was out in the world 15 mins later.  Brandon's birth was the easiest labor for me out of my three kids.  However, unbeknownst to me at the time, Brandon’s labor almost became critical.  I did not realize it until I saw the video. Yeah, I filmed his birth.  I also filmed Mia’s birth.  I think it is a wonderful, once in a lifetime experience and I want them to be able to see themselves coming into the world.  When I watched the video later…for about 30 seconds or so, the doctor could not get Brandon’s shoulders out.  His head was out, but his shoulders were stuck.  I did not know it at the time, but looking at the video, the doctor screams to her assistant, “Call for help!” There is an immediate look of fear and concern in her facial expression.  I later learned that this is called “shoulder dysplasia”, which is very serious. Babies who have their shoulders stuck in the birth canal can often become paralyzed on that side of their body.  They do not get use of their arms.  Fortunately, we were blessed, and Dr. York was able to get Brandonio out.  He was my second biggest baby.  He was 8 lbs 14 oz. He had short blond fuzz hair which later grew into beautiful blond curls when he was a toddler.  Those curls disappeared after Brandon’s dad shaved his head. Needless to say, I was NOT happy.  He looked like a white baby whereas everyone has always said I look hispanic.  I took Brandon to Costco when he was an infant, and the cashier thought I was his nanny.

approximately 6 1/2 months pregnant with Brandonio

  

8 months pregnant

Showing off my big belly with Brandonio

Happy Birthday My Valentines Day Boy!



As a baby, Brandonio showed early signs of his personality.  He was cranky, stubborn, independent, and borderline colicky, but he was also very smart.  He picked up on things quickly. I know I am smart, but Brandon surpasses me by far.  Dylan (my oldest) and Mia (my youngest) favored their dad.  I was usually the disciplinarian and would always be the one to say, “no”.  Since he was an infant, Brandon, however, was always a mommy’s boy.  It seems contradictory since he is the most independent and stubborn of the three, but he has always connected to me more than anyone.  I think Brandon’s personality is most similar to mine. I never help him with homework and yet, he continually gets As.  He is small and thin, but he is athletic and does not allow his size to interfere with his goals.  I have no doubt that this little boy of mine is going to grow into an amazing man who is going to make the world a much better place.

 

1 week old



Brandon shows first sign of rebellion....

 

9 months old

  

9 months old

He is eight years old now, and oftentimes, we forget how young he really is because Brandon acts like he is 11 years old.  Occasionally, I get to see him as an 8 year old because he still wants kisses from me.  He still wants me to tuck him in bed every night, which is just the way I want it to be because I love kissing my Valentine's Day baby.

2 years old



4 years old



5 years old

  

My life is so much better because of Brandonio, and I could have not been more blessed.  I love my Brandonio more than life itself.

Happy 8th Birthday Brandon!!  Mommy loves you more than anything!

Run Dylan Run!

Dylan ran his second half marathon, Surf City, on Sunday, February 3.  I am so proud of him. He does not train, but being young and athletic, he doesn’t really need to.  He ran his first half marathon, Disneyland,  last September.  and completed the 13.1  mile course in over 2:45:45.  He looked quite miserable at the end.  He ended up sleeping for 18 hours straight.  Six months later, a noticeable difference was observed.  He looked as if he had only just ran a 10k.  Additionally, he completed it in 2:24:39….that is an inspiring 20-min improvement!  

 

Fun at the Expo



At the expo--holding up his bib





Getting his gear ready the night before



Pre-Race  (We are ready to go!)

What is even more wonderful  is that Dylan is now getting that thirst for running.  He asked me to sign him up for the May OC half marathon, and he wants to complete the series so he could earn his Beach Cities Medal. To qualify for this medal, you have to run three half marathons in one year (Surf City, OC, and Long Beach).  Lance has lost interest in running half marathons so I’m especially excited that Dylan is now expressing interest so I have someone to do these with.

Look at our bling!!

This is the medal Dylan will receive if he completes the three designated half marathons in one year.



How Well Do We (Lance and Liz) Know Each Other?

I think married couples need to be best friends; being lovers is not enough.  You have to be married to your best friend because otherwise, the chances of a happy, successful marriage of longevity becomes not so promising.  Lance and I did one of those ridiculous surveys on the internet.  This questionnaire focused on how well we knew each other.  We did very, very well.  Highlighted answers were incorrect, and as you can see, there were not many we got wrong.  We are best friends and we share EVERYTHING.   

1.  Name your partner's three best friends

    Liz's response:        Keith Kosan, Elizabeth Fellows Wade, Mike Tedford
    Lance's response:   Cheryl, Sherry, Roberta

2.  Name some of your partner's accomplishments

  Liz' response:   Navy career, bringing the 90ft boat down to San Diego, restoring the boat
  Lance's response:  College graduation, kids, writing

3. What does your partner consider his greatest loss/regret in life?

   Liz's response:  marrying his first wife, Trudy
   Lance's response:  losing her first family

4. What will be playing on the radio if your partner was driving?

    Liz's response:   Talk radio on some conservative station then country music
    Lance's response:  Hip hop

5. What is your partner’s favorite ice cream?

     Liz's response:  Mint chocoloate chip
     Lance's response:  Strawberry

6. Name 10 extended family members of your partner

    Liz's response: This is hard. I dont know any of your uncles and aunts or cousins
    Lance's response: Fuck that.
 
7. What physical features is your partner most unhappy about?

     Liz's response:  His big belly
     Lance's response:  Her stomach

8. What is the full name of your partners parents?

     Liz's response:  Joseph Donald Wade, Patricia Ella Rowe
     Lance's response: Roy fellows don't know middle and Mylinh tran 

9. Names some of your partners fears?

     Liz's response:  Answered correctly but will not be stated in a public blog.
     Lance's response:  Mice and going over a bridge

 
10. Who is their first love?

      Liz's response:  Mignon
      Lance's response:  Shitball she lost her virginity to

 
11. What did they want to be when they grew up?

    Liz's response:  A pilot

    Lance's response:  Actress

12. What is their favorite desert?

    Liz's response:  Ice cream (partly wrong--should have added cheesecake)

    Lance's response:  Creme brû lée

13. What is their favorite color?

     Liz's response:  Royal blue

     Lance's response:  pink

14. Strawberry? Chocolate or Vanilla?

    Liz's response:  Strawberry

   Lance's response:  Strawberry

15. Where were they born? Date?

     Liz's response:  Houston, Texas August 15, 1958
     Lance's response:  Vietnam, November 17, 1972

16. What is their favorite holiday?

         Liz's response: Christmas   
        Lance's response: Christmas

17. How do you describe him/her to other people

Liz's response:  Funny, accomplished, smart, sensitive, opinionated, loyal, traditional values,    conservative, family oriented       

   Lance's response:  bright, smart, funny, crude, energetic, beautiful          
            

18. What is the one thing I do that makes you crazy/irritated?—

     Liz's response: When i need love and softness, he gets cold.
     Lance:  leaves used dental floss everywhere and clutter

19. What is the things that I do that you absolutely love?

    Liz's response:  When he write me love letters

    Lance's response:  she loves me uncondtionally

20. Does your partner believe in marriage counseling?

     Liz's response:  yes
     Lance's response:  yes

21. Partner’s favorite show?

   Liz's response:   Dexter, True Blood, Homeland, Breaking Bad

   Lance's response:  Dexter true blood breaking bad homeland.

22. Is the partner a good singer?

   Liz's response:  Yes, very good.

   Lance's response:  No

23. What is the craziest thing he ever did in his life?

   Liz response:   Have sex on an airplane (So this is WHY he need to do it with me)

   Lance response:  Marry me after 2 months

in rethinking this, his craziest thing would have been marrying someone after 2 months.

24. How many lovers has your spouse had?

     Liz's response:  12

     Lance's response:  9

25. Name extracurricular activities your spouse did as a child?

     Liz's response:  Basketball, building things, built a gokart from a lawnmower engine
     Lance's response:  Writing, basketball, cheerleading 

26. Your spouse’s best friend as a child?

      Liz's response:  Glen Roller

      Lance's response:  Sister

27. Where would your spouse want to go for dinner? What would they order?

       Liz's response:  Steak and potatoes

       Lance's response: Vietnamese

29.  Your spouse’s favorite physical feature?

       Liz's response:  His height….and broad shoulders

       Lance's response: Her eyes

29. If your relationship did not work out, do you think you could be just friends?

      Liz's response:  Yes I could be but no he could not

      Lance's response:  no

Rock and Roll Arizona Half Marathon 2013

Showing off our medals after the race--yes, Lauren kicked my ass.  I also picked up an extra medal for doing both desert races (Vegas and Arizona)

I'm a pretty sick person.  I'm not normal.  I have never been normal. Most people would have gone to the funeral of their best friend and spent the rest of the weekend in reflective contemplation, but not me....I immediately drive to Arizona so I could run, but then again, running is VERY therapeutic for me.  During that half marathon, I was thinking about Sherry and my mom, and while running, I had tears streaming down my face.  I was crying for a good mile during the run.  For me, this was probably one of my worst half marathon experiences . It wasn't the fact that I got teary eyed and emotional because that's pretty typical for me. What made it a nightmare is I got the runs during the run.  Yes, how ironic...the runs during the run. I don't know how many of you are unlucky enough to have had that nightmarish experience.  You just cannot run a step more because your entire insides are bouncing about.  I had to walk about 3/4 of a mile before I found a port a potty.  In fact, I was SO DESPERATE for a toilet that I was about to go knock on the doors of the homes of complete strangers.  However, I was saved because I saw my relief---the port a potties.  I have never been so happy to see a port a potty.  I sat in there for at least five minutes and had a diarretic (word?)poop.  Lance didn't run and served as support. I called him during the run, in a panic when I didn't think I would make it---when I believed there was going to be a humiliating and embarrassing accident on the course.



Lauren (tall, blond, and beautiful) with her short, dark yet quite HOT stepmom



Our daughter, Lauren, also ran the half. This was her second half marathon in less than a year, and she is superwoman!  She knocked off over 20 mins of her time and finished in 2:09.  We are so proud of her.  I, of course, trailed behind at 2:23.  Regardless of my emergency poop, Lauren still kicked my ass. She looked great with her lean legs. I have no doubt that she could easily finish in under 2 hours.  She is planning on having another baby, and of course, my sick self is trying to deter her from that--well, not deter her, but make her delay it by a year.  You see, the family is running the San Diego half in August, and well, there is a group of us running LA full marathon next March.  We schedule everything around runs in this family, and that means babies are scheduled around runs.

It was so good seeing Lauren, Bron, and our adorable grandson Carter.  He is such a good baby that at times, I forgot he was even with us.  He  doesn't have that fear of strangers yet so I was able to steal several kisses.  We spent a wonderful Sunday after the half marathon, having lunch, going to some boring store called Bass Pro Shop and just relaxing in the jacuzzi.

Well, in less than two weeks, I'm running Surf City Half.  My goal is to run a half marathon every month for one year. It is a challenge, but I don't feel physically challenged.  I wasn't sore after Arizona. I don't push myself to get any PR.  I just enjoy it.  What makes it hard is to find the time to do it, but I love running.  I will always run until I physically can't anymore.



Three generations



Daddy's girl

Lance with Carter at some boring store called Bass Pro Shop. I actually followed Lance around looking completely bored.  He didn't like it and said he felt rushed.  Pay back is a bitch!  That's what he does to me when I shop....just standing there completely quiet yet subtlely delivering a message to hurry up.

Runners from OCTA.  We all had great rooms at the Marriott at the Buttes.  I love this group. They are just as addicted as I am.

 

Look at that face!!! So cute!

In Loving Memory of Sherry Ann Wendt

In Loving Memory of

Sherry Ann Wendt

December 21, 1963 - January 5, 2013

I received the news early Saturday evening.   Like many of you, when I first heard of Sherry’s passing, I was in complete shock. It seemed impossible.  It took a few hours for me to realize what I had lost.  I didn’t just lose a coworker.  I didn’t just lose a friend.  I didn’t even just lose a best friend.  What I lost was much greater…much more tragic…much more rare….I lost one of only two people in this world who really really knew me…who I shared my private world and soul with… who knew every sordid secret; every embarrassing, humiliating moment; every character flaw; every deformed thought and opinion.  Sherry Ann Wendt knew EVERYTHING about me. 

Our relationship was unique because it was brutally honest.  It was natural and required no effort.  Most friendships---you have to work at it…do the usual get togethers, have lunch, and if you don't work to maintain the relationship, they just dissolve… but our friendship was effortless.  We use to make plans and would always joke about who would be the first one to cancel.  When we didn’t see each other for months and when we finally did--it was as if there was no break…it was as if we had seen each other everyday---it was so NATURAL and SO EFFORTLESS. 

I saw Sherry a week before she died.  I believe that last meeting was God’s final present to us…to our friendship….he brought us together one last time. She was her usual self—so full of life and laughter.  I’m grateful and will always be grateful for that final meeting. 

Sherry is the most mutli-faceted person I have ever known.  We first met each other over 20 years ago when she joined Dial a Ride.  Our supervisor at the time told us  that we would be really close friends.  Sherry would often retell that story that when she first met me, she thought I was annoying…noisy and rude.…because I asked her the most personal...most inappropriate and most offensive questions whereas I thought her to have a stick up her ass…to be such a priss…so uptight…How could we be best friends or even friends for that matter? We were completely different. But little did we know, our supervisor was right.  We were not that different. We were very much alike and we would be more than BEST friends…we would be sisters.

On the outside, Sherry looked so prim and proper. She was very feminine …loved Victorian style decor…drunk her coffee in tea cups with her little finger extended…loved her cats (everyone who knew Sherry knew of her love for her cats)…She loved all animals...loved to cook, and boy could she cook! I cannot cook and Sherry would often times cook me breakfasts or lunch.  In the kitchen, everything she touched turned to gold.  Sherry was also an adventurer.  She flew planes…rode motorcycles….loved speed….drove her cars at 100 mph…she would drive in the carpool lane when she was alone in her car..she was a little rebel.  Moreover, like me, she was also crude and vulgar and inappropriate but that made her more endearing to me. There was no topics that were off limits.  She was smart, witty, and tolerant.  You could tell her anything.  Sherry was a contradiction. She was very traditional yet very unconventional….She was prim and proper yet wild and crazy and fun...… She was ladylike and feminine yet crude and vulgar.….She was a hopeless romantic yet sex crazed ……She was artistic, creative and yet a man’s man (she could fix anything) …..

I recently looked through pictures we took and emails we exchanged, and I could not help but laugh and smile at all the memories.  Sherry loved to retell the story about how she once asked me, “Liz—do you think I’m as big as a house?”  and I said, “No, not at all.  You’re about as big as a condo.”  She use to make fun of me being so flat chested whereas she was very proud of her endowments.  There were times, I would fart by her cubicle and I would runaway so people would think it was her….these are good memories for me because Sherry was just FUN. She had such a GREAT sense humor! 

Sherry loved life. She was a passionate spirit.   She was in love with being in love.  She was a hopeless romantic, and yes, she got her heartbroken a few times, but it never stopped her.  She always took that risk again and put herself back out there for love.  She was intensely loyal and extremely giving and generous to those she loved.  She would sacrifice her own needs/desires for those she loved.  She was sensitive, very sensitive and her only real desire in life was to love and to be love. She cared a great deal and she felt a great deal.

The day before she died, my son who is 13 years old wrote something on his Facebook wall about how depressed he was….I was in Florida, and it disturbed me what he wrote, and I felt helpless because I was so far away, but I saw Sherry wrote him back…it was a very loving, encouraging note telling him what a wonderful boy he was….yes, a day before she died….she was there for me…reaching out to my son when I was miles away; I will NEVER forget that, Sherry.

I knew Sherry for over 20 years, and in that 20 years, she was my greatest, most consistent and reliable comfort….She took care of me. She would always make me my afternoon coffee at work. When I was sick, she would walk to the nearby drug store to get me medicine.  When I was heartbroken, it was Sherry who would comfort me—in fact, at times her words were the only words that could reach and console me. I once got a final written warning at work and I was sent home early  to think about my actions.  I was so distraught. Others tried to cheer me up and support me, but they failed.  I remember calling Sherry that Friday, and I dont know how, but she managed to lift me up when no one lese could...when I was so defeated.  When someone attacked me, Sherry was vocal in her defense.  I remember I was verbally attacked at a happy hour function by this girl, and Sherry was very quick to draw out her cat claws in my defense. We were there for each other through the deaths of pets… family members ….through heartbreaks from disappointments in love…through jobs….through the birth of my children and through marriages.  When I made plans to marry my husband after a few weeks of dating, Sherry was the very very first person who knew of the plan.  You see, I could tell her anything....She was always the first person that I would run to when something was happening whether it be good or bad…I can’t run to her anymore.

Each day, it hurts even more because I lost something so great that only comes once in a lifetime.  You are lucky if you go through life and have someone who knows you, and I’m not just talking superficially but someone who really really really knows the core of you. We go through life letting people have glimpses of us, but it is rare when someone knows everything inside and out.…nothing hidden or left out.  Greatness comes in many different forms. Greatness is a unique, precious and rare blessing. Sherry was searching for greatness in love.  The irony is I don’t think Sherry realized she already had greatness in love  because frankly, I didn’t realize it either …until now.  Great love doesn’t have to be between a man and a woman…Sherry did have a Great love in her life…It was “us”. It was our honest, unconditional, natural, and completely real friendship full of love and trust.

 Life is about people….it is about making a difference in the world and the way you make a difference is by making a difference in someone’s life…in who they are.  Sherry was such a comfort to me because I felt such freedom to be who I really was…to never feel ashamed...to not have to mask myself…to be naked with her and to be accepted, loved, and never judged.  That is the most precious gift you can give someone. And Sherry Wendt gave me that once in a lifetime gift. 

I like to think that I now have another angel watching over me Sherry —I feel a little lonely without you.   You are a part of who I am, and a part of me is missing.  You made a difference in my life.  I will never ever have a friend like you again. You were a perfect friend. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Ragnar Relay Florida Keys 2013

I am a runner. There is a group of runners at our work; we have become intimate friends who share a passion for running.  As a group, we participated in the Ragnar relay series race from Miami to the Florida Keys on January 4 - 5, 2013.  This is the 6th Ragnar I have done, and it is Lance's third.

What is Ragnar? Ragnar relay races are very unique experiences that challenge your physical and mental strength.   It is approximately a 200-mile relay race that a team of 12 runners run over a 30-hour period.  The team is split into two vans (6 in each van).  Each runner runs three legs that average between 2 - 12 miles a leg.  Runner 1 starts the race, runs a specific distance, and hands a wristband to runner 2 at an arranged exchange point.  Runner 2 takes off with the wristband, runs a set distance, and hands off the wristband to Runner 3 at an exchange point.  Van 1 does this for the first six runners before taking a 3-4 hour break while Van 2 takes over.  From the moment the team starts running to the moment the race finishes, there is ALWAYS someone on the team running - day and night so yes, we have runners on the road at 2 a.m. in the morning. Moreover, Ragnar races are not closed courses. We are running with and against traffic on open roads. 

What makes Ragnar so challenging is that you get very little sleep. You are basically running completely sleep deprived, feeling dirty and unrefreshed as you don't shower for that period. I think Ragnars are much more mentally and physically exhausting than a half marathon.  It really tests your limits.

Our team, Lost-in-Transit, took a red eye flight on Wednesday, January 2 and landed into Miami on Thursday morning.  There were 12 of us; 9 Orange County Transportation Authority employees, 2 friends of an employee, and one stranger (a former Marine) that we recruited from Michigan.

We spent our first day in South Beach, Florida, preparing for the race in a very stupid way. We went to a local restaurant and got ripped off! The hostess conned us in by saying they were giving away free shots and had a special "buy one, get one free drink".  We must have had the word "tourist" written all over us. I don't drink, but I was so exhausted from the overnight flight; I decided to have a pina colada, thinking the alcohol would help me fall asleep.  There were no prices on the menu, and we were too stupid to ask!  We just ordered our drinks not realizing these drinks were made for giants.  Of course they had a special because who could ever drink two of these monstrous drinks! They were colossal sized drinks..  Ultimately, our bill was $750 and that was just for drinks!!!! Yes, 68 dollars a person for alcohol--they really made money off of me because I took only a few sips of my pina colada.



Our colossal drinks

Lance getting his shot



Our California Beach Costumes
  

   
I was Runner 1.  Our theme was California Beach. The guys wore blond surfer wigs and the girls wore Katy Perry wigs.  Unfortunately, we forgot to bring our California flag.  My first leg was only 5.7 miles; leg 2 was 8.8; and leg 3 was 3 miles.  Lance's first leg was 4.4 miles; leg 2 was 4.7, and his final leg 9.9 miles. We started in Miami and ran to Key West.  It was the most scenic course I have ever ran.  Lance was fortunate to have the 7 mile bridge on his last run!  He also got to run through a part of the Everglades at night, and yes, he did see an alligator.  Ragnar staff warned us to not throw things on the side of the road as to not attract unwanted wildlife.  We left the Everglades and came back with over 20 mosquito bites each.  When you run at night in Ragnar, you are equipped with headlights, tail lights, and safety vests, but it still can be quite dark and scary out there.  I am blind at night, and I could hear sounds in the dark which scared me. 




at the start line



 

Our Lost in Transit Team at the start line.

  

Running Leg 1 through Miami

Starting my 8.8 mile leg at 530. I have to wear the safety vest, tail lights, and headlights because most of my run will be in the dark.

Lance's last leg...He had crossed the magnificent 7 mile bridge.



posing with another team.  Ragnar Teams go all out in costumes and decorate their vans!




at the Finish Line with our medals!!



200 miles and 34 hours later!! Showing off our bling!

Florida is hot and humid, and as a result,  we did not meet our projected finish time.  It was difficult to run in the heat - drenched in sweat.  Florida is also incredibly BEAUTIFUL.  It is one of the prettiest states I have ever seen. I loved every aspect of Miami and the Florida Keys.  Lance and I talked about living in Key West or at least spending time there in retirement.  I could totally see it.  It is a little quaint community all of its own.

We rented a condo in Key West and spent the day touring the island.  A highlight for me was visiting the home of Ernest Hemingway.  Though Hemingway is not a favorite of mine, I am passionate about literature.  His house had a lot of character, and there are cats all over the premises.  These cats are direct descendants of Hemingway's cats.  I also learned that the famous playwright Tennessee Williams resided in Key West, and we went to the beach where he swam in every morning. 



Key West--View from the Lighthouse



the Original Margaritaville



Renewing our vows for the 50th time at the Hemingway House--Lance teases that we are always renewing our vows, which is true.





At Ernest Hemingway's House--the lighthouse can be seen in the back. We climbed up it for a spectacular view of Key West

Key West--Sign says this is the beach Tennessee Williams swam in every morning

at a race track which served as one of the "exchange points" where you hand off the wristband to the next runner

A visit to Florida would not be complete without seeing the Everglades.  We toured an alligator farm and did an airboat tour through the Everglades national park.  During the tour, we saw several wild alligators.  We also nibbled on alligator meat.  It was fried, and I think that masked the taste quite a bit.  It was chewy and tasted like chicken nuggets.

Holding a 3-year old alligator



an amazing tour through the Everglades where we saw several wild alligators and birds

I will never forget the beauty of Florida, but I'm happy to be home.  Lance and I have done so much in the last two years--its almost TOO much. We are simply exhausted and just want to do NOTHING.  Since November 2012 and by the end of January (3 months), we traveled to San Antonio, Las Vegas, Florida, and Arizona. Fortunately, we have no plans to travel until July.   With two full time jobs, three small children, two neurotic dogs, Lance's major reconstruction project, my running--it doesn't seem to end.

It's go, go, go. I can't complain though.  We are blessed.  Our lives are filled with constant activity, and every day, I say a prayer of thanks.