In Loving Memory of Sherry Ann Wendt

In Loving Memory of

Sherry Ann Wendt

December 21, 1963 - January 5, 2013

I received the news early Saturday evening.   Like many of you, when I first heard of Sherry’s passing, I was in complete shock. It seemed impossible.  It took a few hours for me to realize what I had lost.  I didn’t just lose a coworker.  I didn’t just lose a friend.  I didn’t even just lose a best friend.  What I lost was much greater…much more tragic…much more rare….I lost one of only two people in this world who really really knew me…who I shared my private world and soul with… who knew every sordid secret; every embarrassing, humiliating moment; every character flaw; every deformed thought and opinion.  Sherry Ann Wendt knew EVERYTHING about me. 

Our relationship was unique because it was brutally honest.  It was natural and required no effort.  Most friendships---you have to work at it…do the usual get togethers, have lunch, and if you don't work to maintain the relationship, they just dissolve… but our friendship was effortless.  We use to make plans and would always joke about who would be the first one to cancel.  When we didn’t see each other for months and when we finally did--it was as if there was no break…it was as if we had seen each other everyday---it was so NATURAL and SO EFFORTLESS. 

I saw Sherry a week before she died.  I believe that last meeting was God’s final present to us…to our friendship….he brought us together one last time. She was her usual self—so full of life and laughter.  I’m grateful and will always be grateful for that final meeting. 

Sherry is the most mutli-faceted person I have ever known.  We first met each other over 20 years ago when she joined Dial a Ride.  Our supervisor at the time told us  that we would be really close friends.  Sherry would often retell that story that when she first met me, she thought I was annoying…noisy and rude.…because I asked her the most personal...most inappropriate and most offensive questions whereas I thought her to have a stick up her ass…to be such a priss…so uptight…How could we be best friends or even friends for that matter? We were completely different. But little did we know, our supervisor was right.  We were not that different. We were very much alike and we would be more than BEST friends…we would be sisters.

On the outside, Sherry looked so prim and proper. She was very feminine …loved Victorian style decor…drunk her coffee in tea cups with her little finger extended…loved her cats (everyone who knew Sherry knew of her love for her cats)…She loved all animals...loved to cook, and boy could she cook! I cannot cook and Sherry would often times cook me breakfasts or lunch.  In the kitchen, everything she touched turned to gold.  Sherry was also an adventurer.  She flew planes…rode motorcycles….loved speed….drove her cars at 100 mph…she would drive in the carpool lane when she was alone in her car..she was a little rebel.  Moreover, like me, she was also crude and vulgar and inappropriate but that made her more endearing to me. There was no topics that were off limits.  She was smart, witty, and tolerant.  You could tell her anything.  Sherry was a contradiction. She was very traditional yet very unconventional….She was prim and proper yet wild and crazy and fun...… She was ladylike and feminine yet crude and vulgar.….She was a hopeless romantic yet sex crazed ……She was artistic, creative and yet a man’s man (she could fix anything) …..

I recently looked through pictures we took and emails we exchanged, and I could not help but laugh and smile at all the memories.  Sherry loved to retell the story about how she once asked me, “Liz—do you think I’m as big as a house?”  and I said, “No, not at all.  You’re about as big as a condo.”  She use to make fun of me being so flat chested whereas she was very proud of her endowments.  There were times, I would fart by her cubicle and I would runaway so people would think it was her….these are good memories for me because Sherry was just FUN. She had such a GREAT sense humor! 

Sherry loved life. She was a passionate spirit.   She was in love with being in love.  She was a hopeless romantic, and yes, she got her heartbroken a few times, but it never stopped her.  She always took that risk again and put herself back out there for love.  She was intensely loyal and extremely giving and generous to those she loved.  She would sacrifice her own needs/desires for those she loved.  She was sensitive, very sensitive and her only real desire in life was to love and to be love. She cared a great deal and she felt a great deal.

The day before she died, my son who is 13 years old wrote something on his Facebook wall about how depressed he was….I was in Florida, and it disturbed me what he wrote, and I felt helpless because I was so far away, but I saw Sherry wrote him back…it was a very loving, encouraging note telling him what a wonderful boy he was….yes, a day before she died….she was there for me…reaching out to my son when I was miles away; I will NEVER forget that, Sherry.

I knew Sherry for over 20 years, and in that 20 years, she was my greatest, most consistent and reliable comfort….She took care of me. She would always make me my afternoon coffee at work. When I was sick, she would walk to the nearby drug store to get me medicine.  When I was heartbroken, it was Sherry who would comfort me—in fact, at times her words were the only words that could reach and console me. I once got a final written warning at work and I was sent home early  to think about my actions.  I was so distraught. Others tried to cheer me up and support me, but they failed.  I remember calling Sherry that Friday, and I dont know how, but she managed to lift me up when no one lese could...when I was so defeated.  When someone attacked me, Sherry was vocal in her defense.  I remember I was verbally attacked at a happy hour function by this girl, and Sherry was very quick to draw out her cat claws in my defense. We were there for each other through the deaths of pets… family members ….through heartbreaks from disappointments in love…through jobs….through the birth of my children and through marriages.  When I made plans to marry my husband after a few weeks of dating, Sherry was the very very first person who knew of the plan.  You see, I could tell her anything....She was always the first person that I would run to when something was happening whether it be good or bad…I can’t run to her anymore.

Each day, it hurts even more because I lost something so great that only comes once in a lifetime.  You are lucky if you go through life and have someone who knows you, and I’m not just talking superficially but someone who really really really knows the core of you. We go through life letting people have glimpses of us, but it is rare when someone knows everything inside and out.…nothing hidden or left out.  Greatness comes in many different forms. Greatness is a unique, precious and rare blessing. Sherry was searching for greatness in love.  The irony is I don’t think Sherry realized she already had greatness in love  because frankly, I didn’t realize it either …until now.  Great love doesn’t have to be between a man and a woman…Sherry did have a Great love in her life…It was “us”. It was our honest, unconditional, natural, and completely real friendship full of love and trust.

 Life is about people….it is about making a difference in the world and the way you make a difference is by making a difference in someone’s life…in who they are.  Sherry was such a comfort to me because I felt such freedom to be who I really was…to never feel ashamed...to not have to mask myself…to be naked with her and to be accepted, loved, and never judged.  That is the most precious gift you can give someone. And Sherry Wendt gave me that once in a lifetime gift. 

I like to think that I now have another angel watching over me Sherry —I feel a little lonely without you.   You are a part of who I am, and a part of me is missing.  You made a difference in my life.  I will never ever have a friend like you again. You were a perfect friend. I love you. I love you. I love you.