The Highs and Lows of Parenting

There are moments when I beam with pride about my son, and there are other moments where I shake my head with frustration.  Dylan is a lazy kid, which is irrefutably his biggest obstacle for success.  His grades are a reflection of his sloth.

A few weeks ago, Dylan had 2 Fs and 1 D.  I was in tears over these grades.  I am very emotionally invested in my children’s academic performance, and it is heartbreaking to see such grades, because as a parent, you want the best for your child, and when you see grades like this, you are overwhelmed with worry for your child’s future.  School is very important to me, and I emphasize the value I place on education repeatedly to my kids.  It is difficult because you don’t want to be an ogre, but sometimes, you have to go to extremes to ensure your child’s success.  Because of his horrendous grades, Dylan lost all privileges.  We took Dylan’s cell phone.  He no longer receives allowance even though he is still expected to do his chores.  He quit his basketball team.  This was difficult for me to do, because I received pleas from his teammates, but I had to make education a priority.  TV and video games were taken away.  Dylan is now forced to spend every night at the dining room table doing homework until 8 p.m. He is not allowed in his bedroom.  His life basically sucks right now.

I emailed his teachers to see what could be done with his grades.  One allowed him to take all of his assignments home, and I kid you not, Dylan and I spent over 20 hours one weekend doing his homework for Microsoft Office.  Brandon and Mia were at their Dad’s house.  Lance was on the boat so it was just me and Dylan, and seriously, it was all we did all weekend.  Hours and hours….I sat by his side and watched him work.  Not only did Dylan get caught up, but he also got ahead of the class, completing his marketing project in advance of the due date.  Dylan’s grade went from a 56 percent to an 89 percent.  He is not stupid. He has so much potential, but he has to put in the work.  I hope it is something he learns from this lesson.

 

The irony of this entire situation was that during all of this, Dylan was recognized by one of his teacher’s in history.  He received an award.  It was very bipolar to congratulate him and be proud of the achievement and yet simultaneously lecture and punish him on his failures. 

 

While all of this was going on, Dylan also applied online for his first job, and today, he has an interview.  I’m nervous and excited for this opportunity.  It is a right of passage into adulthood.  My baby is having his first job interview.  We spent this past weekend doing practice interview questions. 

Yesterday, the OC Half Marathon took place.  This was Dylan’s 11^th half marathon.  He is experienced in what takes place emotionally and mentally during the 13.1 mile race.  My 13-year old nephew Jayson was also registered to run.  It was his first half marathon, and thus, he was completely ignorant on what to expect.  His pre-race excitement was infectious.  He was over confident and thought it would be a ‘piece of cake’.  Yes, he did do some training, but he was still not mentally prepared for the grueling endurance race. Dylan ran with Jayson the entire race.  He motivated him and encouraged him.  Jayson whined at about mile 9.  His whining worsened to tears, and he cried at mile 12.   Dylan was Jayson’s running coach.  He pushed him.  He believed in him.  He encouraged him.  He supported him.  Jayson finished in an impressive time of 2:18.  As with all runners, Jayson was in pain during the race lamenting about why he would do this….why he would put himself through such torment, but yet when his foot crossed the finish line, the inexplicable joy of the accomplishment overcame him, and he was eager to sign up for the next race. 

The truth is that Jayson would have never achieved this accomplishment and the time without Dylan.  Dylan was critical to Jayson’s success. I am so proud of Jayson and I’m equally proud of Dylan.  
 
Dylan is so capable.  He is capable of accomplishing so much, and even though I’m incredibly angry and frustrated that he allowed his grades to suffer, I am also incredibly proud of him.  With hard work and dedication, there is nothing that Dylan can’t accomplish.