Working With Your Spouse

We are one of those married couples who have the privilege and challenge to live, love, and work together.  Lance and I met in the office.    Office romances/marriages are increasingly common.  We probably have about a half dozen couples here at our work.  You see these people daily and spend hours with them so it is not surprising that romantic relationships develop.  Some people hold firmly to the rule to never date someone they work with because of all the complications.   In fact, Lance followed this rule steadfastly…that is until he met me. 

Working with your spouse has its benefits.  I love that I can call him up, and we can walk over to the vending machine or nearby café.  It is so easy for us to eat lunch together, even at an impulsive moment.  Because we have a gym at work, we can spend our lunches working out together (which I love!).  If I'm ever short of money, he is just a few steps away for me to grab a few dollars.

We developed mutual friendships.  When there are work functions/parties, we don’t have to worry about the other having fun because this is their crowd too so mingling is effortless.  Because we know the same people, when we unwind in the evening, it is easy for the other person to relate as we release our frustrations, joys, and happenings of the day.  Moreover, if one of us is having a particularly sour day, it is helpful to have the other so close for the moral/emotional support we need.  Additionally, when my dad passed away, I was so immersed in my grief and the funeral, so it was especially helpful because Lance knew my boss and everyone and he communicated to work on my behalf.  We also save gas and delay necessary routine car maintenance with our commutes.

A large carpool (good thing we weren't fighting then)

What makes it a challenge then?  There are days that quite frankly, we don’t really like each other, and on those days, carpool rides are AWKWARD.  (Sometimes Lance and I carpool with others).  Fortunately, Lance and I are on different floors.  I am on the 12^th floor and he is on the 2^nd so there is a distance.  If we don’t want to see each other, it is possible to avoid each other. However, because we know the same people, it can be uncomfortable.  Sometimes when a woman argues with her significant other, she goes to work and wants to let off some steam and frustration and simply to get advice or feedback.   This is normal because you often become friends with your coworkers, but it is hard when these same coworkers also know your husband.  Lance says that when we do argue and he has to come to my floor, he feels everyone is looking at him with distaste because they think he is a jerk.  I’ve tried to minimize my retelling of an argument because I don’t want my husband to look bad, and because we always….and I mean, ALWAYS make up. 

What is also difficult for me is managing the conflict between the responsibilities of my job and my role as a wife.  We are in two separate divisions, but occasionally, our work overlaps and we have to work with each other.  I support the CEO, and I have to communicate and represent him.  There are times that I don’t agree with what Lance is doing and I have to back up my boss, and it’s a very uncomfortable situation when I’m standing next to my boss and not my husband.  However, we both respect each other, and I think that is why it works.

Plus, I  LOVE that I can sneak away to just see him when I miss him (even though I just saw him literally an hour ago). 

I think couples who are not just in love with their significant other, but who are actually best friends....these are the couples that benefit most from working with each other. I love having Lance so close, and honestly, I wouldn't change it.  What if one of us were offered a position at another company with a big raise ? It would have to be a REALLY REALLY SUBSTANTIAL raise for us to give up this luxury, privilege and blessing of working together.

Yep....I snuck away to see my husband.