Party Time at Chuck E. Cheese

Last weekend, we celebrated Mia's 6th birthday with her first solo party. Every year since she was born, she always had to share a party with her big brother, Brandon.  Mia didn't mind, but Brandon hated it and begged for his own individual party.  He was big enough now to have lots of friends so I agreed, which meant Mia was going to have her own party.  We celebrated at Chucke E. Cheese.  I know, the pizza sucks, but at least the kids love it.  Mia had a dog-themed vanilla cake with filling made of real strawberries. It was wonderful.

She got to go in a ticket blaster machine and try to catch as many tickets as possible.  She didn't do too well on that.  She received great presents and had her cousins and friends there to celebrate.  I love seeing her laugh and smile.  She wore an incredibly fancy dress to Chuck E. Cheese (It was a formal Christmas dress), but Mia likes to dress up and it was her birthday so why not?

The Party Crew with the Birthday Girl

My Six Year Old Princess

Strike a pose! Work it girl!

I love pictures, and I love having my picture taken.  I think Mia has inherited the same self absorbed trait.  She is actually is quite good though.  She poses and is able to come up with different facial expressions that display a wide range of emotions from irritable, serious, happy, giddish, pensive...Mia is extremely comfortable in front of the camera, and I love taking her picture.   She has been like this since she was 18 months old.

I'm starting to learn how to make photo collages. 

I know I need to take more photos of the boys, but they are less inclined to want to take photos.   

Happy 2nd Anniversary!!

Lance and Elizabeth Wade

Fooling around in Vegas.  This was the third weekend we were dating.  Lance took me to Vegas.  We joked that if we won the jackpot, we would get married! 

What propelled me to do it? I don't know.  I do know it was against my very nature.  I do not act irresponsibly. Eloping with a man after only 2 1/2 months of dating is just  insanity.  I think we are lucky that it worked out because frankly, how well can you know someone in that brief duration? Was it impulsive?  No.  There was no inebriated bride or groom.  Our marriage was actually a planned event.   Three weeks after dating, Lance and I began discussing marriage.  Two weeks later, we actually made an appointment at the courthouse. We had plenty of opportunities to rethink and cancel the plan, but no, we proceeded onward.  No one was there at the civil ceremony, and I was immobilized with fear when we recited our vows.  I laughed nervously throughout the ceremony.  My vows were mixed with ridiculous and inappropriate giggles. It seemed surreal.  I did not think rationally about my actions.  I was acting at the direction of my heart, and on that day, March 18, 2011, I took a great risk and took a leap of faith into marriage. I only knew I was completely in love with Lance, and I wanted to be with him forever.

at the Orange County Courthouse, March 18, 2011

We kept our elopement a secret for two more months.  It didn't feel like we were married...not until we came out of the closet.  If I could be a fly on the wall and listen to the shocked and negative comments of everyone.... our marriage was received with  animosity on both sides.  I know people thought we were f--cking nuts!  I was warned about Lance, and he was questioned as to why he would involve himself with someone so much younger and with three kids? Lance had a reputation as a player, and I was a single mother with three kids.  It was difficult to listen to all that because we were so ridiculously happy, and I couldn't understand why people just weren't happy for us because we were so HAPPY!

When we announced we were married, coworkers through us a congratulations party.  I smashed Lance's face with cake.

I first met Lance when he was selected to do OCTA's Strategic Initiatives for the CEO.  I had heard of him, and how he was the most sought after and eligible bachelor at OCTA. Every girl wanted him. When I met him, I was not immediately impressed.  He was nice, but other than that, I didn't think of him much. However,  our interactions began to grow from business oriented to friendship. I felt such a natural ease in his presence.  I was severely depressed, and I began to confide in him regularly.  I told him such personal things that I didn't share freely with others.  He was just so easy to talk to... We platonically flirted, but I was not seriously interested. I even remember sending him profiles of guys I was actually interested in dating so that he could give me his opinion.  I didn't think he liked me either....until he asked to stop sending the profiles.

Because I was grappling with depression, I tried to keep myself busy by doing things, and I planned for me and the kids to visit him in San Diego on New Years Eve 2010.  If I harbored romantic feelings for Lance, I would have never brought my kids to see him, but at the time, he was just a friend.  I remember distinctly waking up that morning and NOT wanting to drive 90 miles. Depression makes you just want to sit at home and do nothing, but I was not going to allow that to happen.  I reluctantly drove to San Diego, and to my surprise, I had a wonderful day with him.  That day changed everything....I don't know what happened, but I suddenly could not get him out of my mind.   I began to see him as more than the manly man who could fix things and who was intelligent, capable, and charismatic. I began to see something more softer and deeper and sensitive.

Shortly after that trip, we started seeing each other daily.  We could not stay away. When we were apart, we would text and talk to each other all night.  It was completely unexpected, but I fell very hard for him.
 

December 31, 2010---the day I spent in San Diego with the kids. This was the turning point.

We have done so much together in the very short time we have been together.  Lance moved to OC; sold a car, a motorcycle, a boat; established a living trust; traveled to Arizona, Seattle, Vegas, Napa Valley, San Francisco, San Antonio, San Marcos, and Florida Keys; bought a new boat; did multiple half marathons; and adopted two rescue dogs.  We did all this, but we have not gone on a honeymoon.  However, in four months, Lance and I are traveling to Eastern Europe for a two week honeymoon.  Lance and I want to visit Auschwitz.

Las Vegas Half Marathon

OC Half Marathon

Ragnar Del Sol - Arizona

San Francisco

Spartan Race

Our adopted babies

Lance is good to me. He is so generous and shares all that he has with me.  He is very involved with the kids and does more than I could possible ask or expect.  He showers me with affectionate and expresses his love quite passionately.  He makes me laugh so much that I pee on myself.  He makes me feel safe, and he makes me feel secure in that no matter what happens, I know things are going to be ok with him by my side.

And I am good to him.  Lance is a very guarded individual.  He is charismatic, but so guarded, and I've been able to break down every wall he has ever had.  For the first time, he is able to stand naked with someone. I know him better than he knows himself.  He says I'm too much in his head that it freaks him out.  He has never been this open with anyone. I also give him the security he has never had....he knows now he doesn't have to rely on himself because he has someone that he can rely on.  Like me, Lance is very independent. Though we both have been in relationships, we both were the ones doing everything in the relationship.This is the first time for both of us that we actually feel we have someone we can rely on.  We finally have a partner.

Big height difference, but other than that, we have alot in common.

We have now been married for 2 amazing years, and each day, I love him more and more.  Sometimes, I just think of him, and I cry. My mom passed away in 2010, and I really believe she helped bring us together.  We were meant to be together.  We are so much alike. We both have mental problems, an off center sense of humor, are unconventional, crude, disgusting, family oriented, passionate, sensitive, and have the same values, goals, and taste in life.  No two souls were more suited to be together than ours. 

I love my husband very much. In fact, the word "love" seems inadequate.  I more than love him. He makes me indescribably happy.  My life is so much better because of him.  I only want to make him happy....support him in achieving all his dreams; make him feel safe; remind him that no matter what happens, I will always be by his side; make him feel sexy and beautiful no matter how big his ass gets; make him feel loved even when he is acting like an ahole; and make him feel like he is the most important man in the world because he is....to me.

I love you Lance.  Becoming your wife has made me the happiest woman in the world.  I am proud to be your wife.  I am proud to have you as a husband.  I love you in the most unhealthiest, passionate, necessary way.  I need you.  You make the world a better place.  You make my life so complete.  You are my best friend, and I love you with all that I am and will ever be.....I will never stop loving you.

Happy 2nd Anniversary my love, my husband, my life.......

This is how much he makes me laugh!



I can kiss him and never grow tired.



On our one year anniversary, our kids came and watched us say our vows in an informal reception

Our Brady Bunch...It really is...he has three kids and I have three kids....combined that is six kids (three boys and three girls)

Lance sold this motorcycle, but he has a mini van now!! Yeah!

Lance and I are notorious for losing rings.  I am on my third and he is on his fourth.  I surprised him once by asking him to marry me again with one of the rings (his second).

It Is All About How You Look at The World!

I am very proactive when it comes to my health, and I am always up to date on my screenings.  I scheduled an elective colonoscopy for myself last Friday as my mother had rectal cancer in her late 40s.  As a result of the procedure, it is suspected that I have Crohn's disease.  I didn't even know anything about it.....my only exposure to it was through the Rock and Roll Las Vegas Half Marathon; a race that benefits and raises awareness for Crohn's.  I have ran it three consecutive years, and with this recent diagnosis, I'm going to make it a goal to run it yearly.

When the doctor expressed his suspicions that I have Crohn's, I began to research as much information about it as possible, and of course, the internet can be quite scary.  I started to get very depressed and afraid.  A week of constant worry also allowed me to think seriously about things, and I began to feel really selfish.  I think you need to always remind yourself of all the blessings in life. It is so easy to get caught up in the "bad" things, and I think a key component to happiness is to always appreciate and be grateful for all the good things. 

I am so blessed.  Before I went to see the doctor, I prayed that I would not have Crohn's, but after the doctor stated he was pretty certain I did, I drove to work this morning and I prayed again, but this time, I thanked God. My life is good and I will not forget that.

There are three things that give me insurmountable strength.

God
My kids
Exercise

 I am not an overtly religious person.  Religion has always been deeply personal to me.  I dont attend church regularly.  I dont read the bible daily, and I dont have open discussions about God often, but what I do very very regularly is pray.   As I've gotten older, I've come to ask less of God and express more gratitude.  When I do ask for something, I often feel selfish asking because I've already been given me too much.  I sometimes thinks its unfair how blessed I am.  I'm so deeply thankful for all that he has given me. 

My kids make me a fighter because my love for them knows no bounds, and I will fight with passion to give them the best I can, and that also means fighting for my own well-being. 

I am a firm and passionate believer in the power of exercise.  I think if someone exercises for physical beauty, the chances of it becoming a permanent lifestyle change is minimized. Because of a health scare, I started exercising when I was in my late 20s, and it has followed me since then.  I do it because I want to be healthy, and I do it because it helps me mentally.  I need "exercise" to survive.  It is my anti depressent drug.

Back to Crohn's....I am doing a stool test and a blood test for the genetic markers.  This will confirm the diagnosis.  It is suspected that I subclinical Crohn's which means I have no symptoms.  The doctor wants me to have a colonoscopy every three years; other than that, no lifestyle changes.  I am not taking any medicine. As the doctor said, "Why give medicine with side effects to a person who feels healthy and well and has no symptoms?"  I've also been advised to not take any type of anti inflammatory drugs like ibuprofen.  Easily done.  The doctor told me I could have had this disease for years, but never knew it.  He said that even though my colon is not normal, people with active crohn's would want my colon....that's how very mild and scattered it is....I would have never known that I had this either if I never got the elective colonoscopy.  He said I could stay like this for the rest of my life--no symptoms.  I am hoping for that, but if that is not the case, I will deal with it.

I am keeping my sense of humor.  Dylan saw a water bottle in my room yesterday and asked, "Whose water is this? Can I have some?" I told him, "Its not Brandon's.  It is mine. You can't catch Brandon's flu....."  Brandon was sick with some stomach virus.  So Dylan opens the water bottle and starts gulping....and then I add, "you can't catch the flu but you can catch Crohn's." He immediately stopped and almost gagged.   I just started laughing.  Lance has made some jokes and said he would hose me off when I'm older.

With all this being said, I'm so blessed.  I have an amazing husband who is so good and supportive of me.  I love Lance so very deeply.  He gives me strength, and I feel so secure around him.  My kids are my very lifeline. They are what make my heart beat...I will always be the most blessed person in the world because I was chosen to be Dylan, Brandon, and Mia's mommy.  They are my life's greatest gift.  And God, I will never take for granted what I have and will always be grateful for all the goodness you have given me.  You have been more than good to me, and I only want to be worthy of your blessings.

A Princess is Born

My fat bloated face with my ugly Mia baby-shortly after birth

After having two boys, the desire to have a little girl  grew.  I love my boys dearly, and they enrich my life in countless ways, but a girl is just different.  The relationship between a mother and daughter is unique, and I wanted very much to have that experience.  When I was pregnant the third time, I was anxious to find out the baby’s sex.  I participated in a university-funded research study project while pregnant with all three of my children.  This research involved getting several ultrasounds, and at one of the ultrasounds, I was finally advised of the baby’s sex.  I remember laying there incredibly nervous.  I could not think clearly. When the lady told me I was having a girl, I was so happy, but I asked her repeatedly, “Are you sure? Are you sure? Can you check again?”  She replied, “yes, you see…there is the labia.” I wanted this so bad that I became dumb, and I stupidly asked, “What’s that?” The nurse must have thought I was an idiot when she said, “the lips.”  Because of the study, I had more ultrasounds as the pregnancy progressed and each time, I asked, “can you check again that it’s a girl?”  Each time, I was reassured.  The moment I found out her sex, I immediately went shopping for pink things!  I was so excited.

Mia Bronte Bivens was born on March 19, 2007 at 3:09 p.m. at Orange Coast Memorial Medical Center in Fountain Valley.  She was 8 lbs 14 oz and had a MASSIVE amount of black hair that stuck up everywhere like a porcupine.  I was so shocked when I saw her.  The boys had light brown fuzz, but Mia looked like someone else’s baby.  I love my daughter dearly, and now,  I can literally stare at her for hours because she is simply GORGEOUS.  I have never seen a more beautiful girl, but let’s face it…..Mia was one ugly baby.  She had obnoxious hair, beady eyes, and she was red and swollen all over like tomato.  They often say ugly babies grow up to be beautiful, and with my Mia, that is completely factual. 

One Day Old--Still Ugly




getting cuter....



Mia was the most PERFECT baby.  She slept 22 hours of the day.  She was always asleep.  In fact, I was worried there was something wrong with her and expressed my concerns to the doctor.  He told me she was fine and I should be grateful that I have an easy baby.  Mia was too easy. She never whined, hardly cried.  She may have been an ugly baby, but she was an easy baby. 

9 months old

Mia did not progress as quickly physically as the boys. Dylan walked at 9 months. Brandon walked at 10 ½ months.  Mia did not walk until she was 16 months old.

a little over 18 months old--now she is a beauty!  Her first photo shoot by me!

2 years old with a constitipated smile  (our mommy/daughter photo shoots become more regular)

3 years old (courtesy of Target)

When I said I wanted a girl, I really got what I wanted.  I got the most girly girl that anyone could ever have.  She loves pink. She loves to be a princess, ….She loves shoes, clothes. She loves to have her hair done and nails painted.  She loves jewelry and anything sparkly! At times I feel bad for my little Mia because her mommy is a bit of a tomboy.  I don’t know how to do her hair and she gets frustrated with me.

What we often do for fun is play dress up and take photos.  Mia loves to wear wigs, costumes, different outfits, and do different looks.  She is a natural in front of the camera. She feels comfortable and starts striking poses. 

Mia wears a wig in one photo shoot.  We have done several and she loves to wear wigs and try on different looks.

3 years old.  She looks like a little Caroline Kennedy. and JFK r.  I loved this outfit.

 

Mia is very precocious.  Since she was 18 months old, she has had an obsession with clothes, shoes, and fashion.  She never played with toys much.  Instead, she plays with her clothes. She tries on different outfits.  She changes her clothes like 6 times a day.  Mia recently lost her first tooth, and the tooth fairy brought her leopard print shoes.  Mia was so thrilled.  Other kids would have been disappointed.  When Santa brings Mia presents for Christmas, she is so happy!

Holding my favorite novel.  She is named after the Brontes. 

very last photo shoot

I love spending time cuddling in bed with Mia.   When I asked God for a little girl, he gave me the greatest gift ever!  I love my little Princess.  She will always be my one and only Princess.  I will never love another girl as much as I love my Mia. Thank you God so very much.

My ugly baby girl has blossomed now into a beautiful six year old girl!

Happy Birthday Mia Pa-chea!

(sorry for the photo overload, but Mia is probably the most photographed "regular" kid ever!  This is only like .0009 percent of the amount of photos this little girl has of herself)

I love her more than any girl in the world!!