Just Sad...

Maybe a blog should be upbeat? Who wants to read depressing, melancholy thoughts especially during the holly, jolly season?   I feel grateful, blessed, somber, and reflective. It is what I am now, and this is my truth.

The tragic shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School on Friday has left an acute ache in my heart; I have thought of the victims and their families every day since; I have prayed daily for God to somehow comfort them.  Last night, while alone, I kneeled and prayed, allowing my feelings to be recognized, and in that acknowledgement, I could not stop the tears.  Being a mother of young children, I could not help but be deeply affected by this; I know it could have easily been my neighborhood, my children.   No parent should ever ever ever have to experience this...EVER. The pain is more piercing because, in my opinion, there is nothing more cruel or evil than an act of violence against a child.  Children are defenseless.  They don’t even have a chance to fight for themselves.  As we continue with our lives, I know those directly affected by this will never be the same. 

I have been exceptionally clingy towards my babies as I know most parents are now.  I cannot read the news anymore.  It is too painful.

When I logged onto to the intranet this evening, I saw another disturbing article about a man arrested for raping infants.  I could not finish the article because I felt so sick to my stomach, and then I became enraged.  Why? Why? Why? 

I finished the final episode of the current season of Dexter last night; For those who do not know the storyline of this show….It is a series on Showtime about a serial killer who follows a code in his murders.  He kills “bad” people or other murderers that somehow slip through the justice system.  Even though Dexter is a serial killer, I honestly feel he is doing a great service to the community by ridding the world of these monsters.  I sometimes wish he was real.  I think he would not only save the taxpayers billions of dollars but more importantly, thousands of innocent lives would be spared.  Imagine all the child rapists and murderers that could “handled” by Dexter?  I’m sorry, but someone who hurts a child is incapable of any type of rehabilitation, and I do not want money wasted on efforts to rehabilitate someone like that.  Those who hurt children are EVIL.

I am feeling so hurt, upset, and discouraged now.  I would give anything so that children would not have to suffer in this world.   I feel helpless.

I will continue to pray no matter how much it hurts.