Are You Financially Healthy?

I love personal finance.  I am a long-term strategic  financial planner.  I plan to ensure the security of myself and my family.  People don’t want to discuss or think about the inevitable – death, but you have to protect your family so that they can just focus on their grief and not have to contend with a financial disaster.

My mom passed away in 2010, but when she died, she died without any debt.  The funeral expenses were completely covered.  She left us without any financial stress. We just dealt with the pain of losing her.  You have to plan not only for death, but you also have to plan for the possibility that someone (you or your spouse) becomes temporarily incapacitated.   How do you manage? Can you manage?  Can the household be sustained with the loss of you, your spouse, or both of you?  Will the expectations and needs be met? It is your responsibility to ensure that everything is met. 

 

·         Living Trust:  It is estimated that only 20 percent of Americans have a living trust.  This is an absolute MUST.  You do not want your estate to go into probate and have the courts determine who gets your assets. Additionally, if it does go into probate, you will have a substantial amount of your estate eaten up by the judicial system.  People often delay, but you cannot procrastinate.  This is so critical especially if you have young children.  I think it is also very important to establish a guardian for your children.  What will happen if you die? Who will care for your children?  Once a living trust is established, you need to advise your executor so they know what is expected of them and the responsibility they have…

·         Resource Book:  You need to have one central location to store/maintain information so that it is easily accessible by your trusted partner/executor.  I’ve created excel spreadsheets that have all of our accounts, the balances, the online user IDs and passwords so that either Lance or I could manage these accounts if someone is unable.  I am also including this information in our living trust binder so the executor of our trust can pay any outstanding debt.   I also created a document that shows all of our debts and assets so if Lance and I are incapacitated or deceased, the executor will know the balances and have what he needs.  It is all in one place.

·         Life Insurance:  I believe in term life insurance especially since I have young children.  I have three policies totaling over a half million. This is to ensure my children’s security.   This does not include the funds from retirement accounts, which they will receive nor does it include the asset of the house.  As my children grow older, the need for additional life insurance becomes less necessary, but for now, due to their young age, it is a MUST.

·         Retirement Funds:  In addition to my company’s sponsored retirement account,  I started a 457K (deferred compensation) account in my late 20s.  I am very aggressive.  Currently, I contribute 13.3 percent of my annual income towards this account.  I am aggressive in my investments because my retirement age is not near. I have time on my side.  As I approach retirement, I will transfer my investment to more conservative options.  I routinely monitor the growth of these accounts.  When I met Lance, he was not contributing towards a 457k plan, which was a huge mistake.  The moment we got married, I started him immediately in the plan.  Not only are you planning for your retirement, but the tax-savings benefit is substantial.  If it we were not contributing aggressively, we would be in an even higher tax bracket.  It is a win-win solution. Compounded interest is an amazing thing!! Pay yourself first before you let Uncle Sam take your money.  There are several on-line tools/calculators that you can use to see the tax-savings benefit of these retirement accounts. (i.e. You may be contributing 100 dollars a paycheck, but your paycheck is only less by $75 because it is all pre-taxed.)  Many companies also provide a matching benefit.  Our company does not match at a 100 percent, but it matches my contribution by 3 percent and Lance’s by 1 percent.  Over time, this is a substantial amount.

·         Assets/Debts:  You have to build your assets and limit your debt. Live within your means. This is just common sense.  I think the average credit card debt in America is $15,519.  Ridiculous!  I think the priority for every young couple/family is to own property.  What I think is a drastic mistake is taking equity out of this property and refinancing your home to a longer term, which many people do.  The goal should be to have your house paid off by the time you retire.  You should NOT have a mortgage when you retire.  If you do refinance your house, it should only be to lower your mortgage rate and/or lower the length of your loan.  Never extend it.  Lance and I are in a very good position.  Our house will be completely paid off in 14 years.  This will be a huge relief in our retirement years because we will have no mortgage.  A California mortgage in retirement is almost impossible to pay.  You are on a limited income (not the same income you had while employed) so you really want to eliminate this from your monthly bills.  Debt, I think, is unavoidable.  It is important to have some debt so that your credit score is high, but you cannot have a debt that becomes so overwhelming that you cannot manage it.  Moreover, you don’t want a debt so high that by the time your debt is paid off when you are deceased, you will have no assets/funds left for your beneficiaries.

 

I think it is very important to be actively involved in your financial health and to communicate the financial portfolio to your spouse. When I say financial portfolio, I am talking not just the financial accounts, but the insurance policies, assets, debts etc.  Lance lives in the present day.  He creates a detailed spreadsheet outlining our monthly expenditures.  He is very good at this.  I review and follow it.  I, on the other hand, am more of the long-term planner.  I foresee our financial future in 10 – 15 years from now. We balance each other. What I find also refreshing is we both are financially responsible.  It would be deadly being in a marriage with someone who lacked financial responsibility.  I get quite excited when I talk about our financial health because we are putting ourselves in a position to live comfortably in retirement. Forty-five percent of working age Americans have not planned for retirement.  I am in shock.  In the words of my great mentor, Art Leahy, who once told me, “I am not going to retire poor"...well, I take heed.  We may not be rich, but we will be very comfortable.  It does not take a huge annual income. What it takes is a lot of thought and planning.

A Visit to the Pumpkin Patch

After shuttling to a cross country meet this morning and then a softball game, we were able to make our annual visit to the pumpkin patch.  This place is a money- making machine.  I know this is not in the spirit of the holiday, but really?  The pumpkins are triple in price, and it's three dollars a jumper per kid.  With two kids, you could easily blow a hundred in an hour. 

Of course, we could not avoid the pumpkin patch.  I mean, you just have to go.  I bought 30 dollars worth and told Brandon and Mia when the tickets were gone, DO NOT...and I mean DO NOT ask, beg, plead for more tickets because that is not happening! Surprisngly, when the tickets ran out, they did what I asked.

They actually had a great time, and some of the jumpers are amazing. Some of the decorations were also a bit scary, not quite suitable for young children.  After our visit, we drove to the local Albertsons and bought ourselves three pumpkins to carve later.  While walking out the store, I said to the kids, "Let me teach you a lesson in economics....we got three pumpkins at Albertsons for the cost of one pumpkin at the patch." They get it.

 

 

 

 

I do not undertand how families could possibly afford this.  We did enjoy ourselves, but it was only for a brief time.  We did get some awesome photos though.

Following the pumpkin patch visit, we had dinner that night at Pholicious.  It was great being with them,

Now, everyone is here in the living room and we are ending the night with a living room campout.  Life can't get better.

Exercise to be FIT, Not Skinny.

 

It is difficult to make a life habit of exercising.  I have exercised regularly without any long-term break for about 15 years.  Prior to that, I would work out regularly for a few weeks/months but then I would stop.  It was sporadic.  I could never do it consistently for a long period of time.  So what changed? For me, it boiled down to the question of ‘why’?  Why am I in the gym? Why am I working out?  If you exercise for the main purpose of looking good, it is going to be a short-term habit, but if you work out for health reasons and overall well-being then that is when it becomes a life habit.

 

 

In my late 20s, I noticed some lumps on the back of my neck.  I performed a self-diagnosis with the aid of the Internet which led me to suspect I had some type of cancer.  The Internet could be a wealth of information, but it could also increase the anxiety and concern in an already worried individual.  Ultimately, it was discovered that the lumps were a result of an infection;  I was prescribed antibiotics and it went away.  Thank goodness!  The fear I felt though changed my attitude.  I really wanted to do what I could to be as healthy as possible.  I started to work out, and I have not stopped since then.

 

Everyone reads about my running passion, but I am more than a runner.  I am a gym rat.  I love being in a gym. I love the feeling I get from pumping iron.  I love making my body stronger.  I love seeing the physiological changes.  I love results.  I am not even close to being a muscular fitness fanatic (my diet is the result of that), but I think for someone who is almost 42, I’m healthy and fit.  I have recently made some positive dietary changes, and I feel even more alive.

Treadmill is my favorite equipment for cardio followed by the elliptical.  I am not a big fan of the stair climber or bike, but I do use these machines.

Bosu Ball

 Athleticism is part genetics.  My dad was a star athlete; my siblings are very athletic.  As a child, I was always the shortest in class.  I wore glasses, and I looked like a nerd.   Because of my dad’s military career, we moved constantly, and I was often the new kid in class.  I always remembered during the first few weeks of P.E. class, I was the last selected when teams were made. I get it.  I didn’t look the part, but I quickly surprised them, and before long, I was always the first choice.  With this being said, it is easy and natural for me to take up exercise.  I like sports. I am a natural athlete.  I dont have to train much to see the transformation begin.

Push ups on a bosu ball.  I have never counted how many male push ups I can do in one set.  I normally do 20 reps of 3 sets. 

 Exercise is important to me for so many reasons.  I need it to live.  Life is stressful, but when I feel strong, I am capable of handling any type of challenge that comes my way.  Exercise gives me strength. It gives me confidence that I can conquer any obstacle in my path.  It is truly the best anti-depressant natural drug out there.  When I was going through my divorce or dealing with the painful grief of my mother’s death, I never stopped working out.  There were times, and I remember this very clearly, that I would be working out with tears streaming down my face.  At that time in my life, I just wanted to crawl into bed and not face the world, but I forced myselt to work out and not because I wanted to but because I needed too.  Exercise makes me feel invincible.  Of course, not every time I hit the gym do I leave feeling like I am superwoman.  There are days I feel “blah” but then there are those days that I feel like I am a superhero.  Exercise gives me a natural high—a high that the world is wonderful…that I’m strong…that I can overcome anything or anyone….it is my “Don’t f**k with me because I invincible!”

I am a champion. Here me "roar"!!

 

I am a mother who works full time.  Not only do I work full time, I have a stressful, high-visibility job with many responsibilities. I am also raising three children.  I help them with their academics.  I attend as many school functions as possible.  I volunteer at the school.  I have them involved in many extracurricular activities that leave my  nights and weekends with conflicting obligations.  It is constant activities and demands for my time.  There is no way I would be able to succeed with all these obligations if it were not for the energy that exercise gives to me.  I CAN do all of this.  It may be difficult at times, but I can and I do succeed.  I don’t think I would last a week with this schedule if I was not exercising.   I also think my concern for health transcends to my kids.  They are exposed to fitness at a young age, and they know how important it is to take care of the mind and the body. When you work out, it is important to remember it is not just your body you are exercising but your mind too.  Your mind benefits from exercise.

Life is busy, but in order to effectively manage all of this, you must make the time to work out.  Working out MUST be a priority because if you don’t, everything else will suffer.  You will not have the energy to be at four places at once.  You will not have the confidence to overcome any defeatist attitude.  You will become overwhelmed with the stress, and your health will deteriorate. 

You have to exercise for your health. You have to exercise because of the way it makes you feel…..a side effect (the cherry on top) is that you look good in a pair of jeans….

One of the best investments I ever made was to purchase lifetime membership at 24 Hour Fitness.  When I am on vacation, I always look for the nearest 24 Hour.  I don’t spend hours in the gym.  I work out about 5-6 days a week.  Four of those days are short 30-min work outs and 2 of those days are my long training periods in the gym.  I know this sounds odd, but I can easily spend three hours in the gym.  I can work out for 2+ hours following by a stint in the  sauna and a shower etc.  I have a dresser that is also exclusively for my work out clothes, and I have an obsession with Nike and Adidas.  I am so not into name brand, but I am a Nike and Adidas whore.

42 years old and strong!

 I am going to be selfish.  Exercise is MY time.  I need it for my mental and physical well-being.  You want my advice on how to get started?

 

Exercise to be FIT, not skinny.

 

 

that's the very first step......

Buddy Wade Update

If you know Lance and I, you know that we love our dogs deeply.  Buddy had surgery last week to repair his leg.  We dropped him off on Wednesday evening so the doctors could do the pre-op work.  He was very anxious and nervous when we dropped him off, because he was panting the entire time.  He pants when he is scared and nervous.  It reminded me of the first few days after we adopted him.  He would pant, and we had to give him Benadryl to calm down.  I cried when we dropped him off, and Lance was also emotional.  Buddy stayed at the VCA hospital in Fountain Valley for two days, and our house felt different without him. 

The surgery was early Thursday  morning, and Lance and I went to work completely anxious to hear about how our boy was doing.  We got a call shortly after 12 noon advising us that the surgery was a success.  He has metal pins etc in his leg now.  We were given permission to visit him that evening though we could not yet take him home.

Lance and I went to see Buddy after work on Thursday, and it was hard.  He was so drugged up with pain medicine, and he looked depressed.  His nose was bleeding, which we are certain is due to the fact that he probably was trying to get out of the hospital kennel on his first night. 

Day of surgery- we visited Buddy and he looked terrible, but when his daddy arrived and opened the kennel to sit with him, Buddy was able to lay down and relax.



 

Lance will deny this, but I know what I saw.  He had tears in his eyes when we visited Buddy.  I love these dogs so deeply, but I’m not as connected to them as Lance is…..I believe dogs have spirits because no two are alike.  My Blackie was my dog, and I still cannot talk about her without getting emotional.  Well, the relationship I had with Blackie is what Lance has with Buddy and Bella.  I’m not going to even attempt to explain this, but those who have felt the bond/connection with a dog will know.  As much as Lance is good for these dogs, these dogs are just as good for Lance.  I won’t even bother explaining that either.

Buddy came home on Friday morning.  He was weak, groggy, but very happy to be home.  As soon as he arrived home, the panting ceased.  We moved his twin bed downstairs, and Lance has been sleeping with Buddy.  The first night was difficult as Buddy cried in pain all night.  He has about 7 different medications that we have to administer at different times.  He is slowly getting better, and it helps that he has Daddy with him.  He has about four follow-up appointments and his activity needs to be limited.

Buddy at home with his big cast on his twin bed.

 

I was so impressed with the VCA hospital.  It really is a functioning hospital for animals.  They have an ICU unit, a pharmacy, an operating room etc.  There are dozens of nurses and doctors.  What makes it even more convenient is that it is about a quarter mile from our house.

It is the simple things in life that have the most beauty—a man’s best friend is his dog, and if you could see how much these dogs love Lance and vice versa…the bond is truly beautiful. 

Long Beach Half Marathon 2013

I am proud of my son, Dylan.  What a weekend of accomplishment!

Dylan has always been a passive, easy-going kid.  He doesn’t have that aggression that is sometimes needed for team sports.  I wanted him to run.  Running is an individual sport.  Yes, you can run with thousands, but the competition rest with the self.  It is as much mental as it is physical.  When you are exhausted and feel like you cannot even take one more step, it becomes a mental challenge to dig up your inner superman to trudge forward.  You don’t give up.  You keep going even when every part of your body says I’m done.  You are pushing yourself to cross that finish line.  You are competing with yourself to do the best you can.

Last September, Dylan ran his first half marathon, Disneyland, in 2:45:45.  He looked horrid, and he slept for 18 hours following the race.  I thought his running career was over.  I didn’t think he would ever be interested in running again.  Some months had passed, and I guessed he forgot the misery of the race, because he agreed to let me register him for Surf City Half Marathon in February 2013 and the OC Half Marathon in May 2013.  The running got easier.  It is never easy, but it got to be less painful.

 

On Sunday, October 13, Dylan ran the Long Beach Half Marathon.  Because he completed Surf City and OC, he was eligible to receive the Beach Cities medal for doing Long Beach.  The Beach Cities medal is given to runners who complete all three races in one year.  It is a big deal, and an even bigger deal for someone at age 14 to accomplish.  A few days prior to the race, I received two calls from reporters wanting to interview him. 

 

the Beach Cities Medal

at the expo

 

What 14 –year old kid wants to wake up at 4:30 a.m. to go run 13.1 miles? Not many.  We were very fortunate to have friends to carpool with to this event, and we got the best accommodations in terms of logistics.  One of the runners in our group lives in a high-rise condo in downtown Long Beach.  We were able to park in this condo.  The start and finish line were really right outside the front door.  It offered us the most glorious view of the race and the city.  WOW!

 

Before the race on the 17th floor of the high rise condo

 

 

At the Start Line (Mike in the red shirt lives in the high rise condos)

at the start line.  To the left of the photo, you can see the twin high rise condos that we were at

Dylan is on the Fountain Valley Cross Country team, but he has not run the long distance required to train for a half marathon.   Long Beach was Dylan’s 5^th  half marathon, and he not only received the Beach Cities medal, but he got a personal record (PR) and completed the race in 2:07:55.  This is the first time that Dylan beat me.  He is young and only going to get faster.  I have no doubt he could easily get under 2:00.  Long Beach is a very difficult course to get a PR because there are several areas (miles) that are so narrow that you either have to weave through the traffic of runners or run off course on the sand. It can be a bit frustrating.

In terms of my time, I finished at 2:10:58.  I am pleased with it though I’ve now come to the conclusion that I have passed my peak.  I am just getting slower.  There is about a 2.5 mile stretch on this course that is very narrow.  It is very hard to gain speed on this stretch especially when there are walkers in front of you.  While on this stretch, I received a call from Lance.  He was having a kidney stone attack.  I talked to him and then called my sister to get the younger kids so he could go to the ER.  Yes, I’m in a very narrow path with hundreds of runners, and I’m running, panting, and having a conversation which I’m certain everyone could hear.

 

At the finish line

 

 

Glorious view of downtown Long Beach and finish line festivities

Dylan proudly shows off his medals with the Queen Mary the background

Holding both the Long Beach Half Marathon and the Beach Cities medal



Dylan wants to run a full marathon at 18.  He is going to be a great runner.  I don’t think the 5k or the 10k is his distance.  I think it is the half marathon. 

I am proud of you, Dylan.  Keep running!

San Marcos Academy Reunion 2013

I am an Army brat.  I went to a multitude of schools including three high schools.  I never had the same friends.  I will never know what it is like to know someone since I was a child.  I don’t feel any regrets, because travelling may have been a hobgoblin existence, but it also allowed me to see and experience more.  Lance’s childhood was the opposite. He attended a boarding school in San Marcos, Texas for four years, which resulted in incredibly intimate and unique bonds with his classmates.  Lance would attempt to describe the experience with the preface that outsiders cannot grasp the extent of this bond because they don’t know what it was like to be in a boarding school.  You develop a brotherhood and sisterhood with your classmates.  They become your family.
 

There is a yearly weekend reunion at San Marcos Academy in October.  The class rents out an entire lodge and spends the weekend reminiscing about old times, catching up on everyone’s life, drinking alcohol (lots of it), laughing, playing games, and eating (lots of it).  A lot of preparation goes into this weekend.  When you stay in the lodge, the beds in each room are adorned with goodies for everyone.  The extravagant meals are catered.  On Saturday, they have a night of bingo and dinner in the pool area, and it is decorated with school colors and candles are elegantly lit around the pool.  Lance’s classmate Patty does all of this, and I am just in awe by all her work, preparation, and organization.

Mountainview Lodge - what a beautiful view!

This is the second time that I have attended the reunion.  The first year I attended was the year Lance and I got married.  I wanted to attend because I wanted to meet all of his friends and most importantly, I wanted to meet his sister, Susan.  My first time at the reunion was awkward.  I felt like an outsider infiltrating a very tightly knit group.  I felt an unenthusiastic response to our marraige.  This time, however, the reception was completely contrary.  I felt so welcomed and embraced.   I guess people had to get used to the idea of “us”.  They were so used to Lance being single; the idea of him not was something they had to get accustomed too.   I don’t know.  What I do know though that this is a great group of people who are full of fun, life, and energy. 

 

The common theme that was reiterated by all was how unique and close this group was and is….”they are a family”…..every time someone engaged me in a conversation, I repeatedly heard that this group was a family. They do share a wonderful bond that makes me envious.

Though Lance was preoccupied with reuniting with all his friends, this was also a time devoted to focusing on “us”.  We stayed in the most intimate and romantic little cabin.  A nice change of scenary, no kids, no dogs….just us two…it was something we both needed.  We reconnected as a couple.

the cottage and the rental car

 

 

It was blistering hot the first few days we were there before a cold front came in.  I am just not use to that kind of humidity and heat, but once the cold front came, I was able to go for a jog for the first time. Texas is beautiful.  I loved the run, and what was a special treat was that a pack of deers ran in front of me.  You don’t see that in California!

 

the beautiful surrounding

I enjoyed every aspect of this trip, but the highlight for me was and is Susan Wade.  I adore Lance’s sister.  She was not planning to attend and changed her mind a few weeks before.  She loves Lance so much, and it shows.  I love talking to her.  I feel like she understands me.  I feel like she understands Lance.  I can’t say this about too many people.  I feel an instant connection with her.  I wish she lived closer.  I love her dearly.  I cannot say enough how special she is to me.

Lance, Susan, and I

 

Lance’s best friends, Keith (his vacation wife), Mike, and Paul were all there.  Lance goes on an annual hunting trips with all these guys.  They are all wonderful.  Paul was extremely sweet with his concern for me.  He was so warm and welcoming and he reached out to me to make sure I was feeling comfortable and happy.  It was the sweetest gesture.  I feel an instant warmth from him. Mike brought his wife, Colleen, for the first time.  She is quiet.  Her and Mike have a wonderful marriage; a marriage that just leaves me in awe.  They have been married for over 30 years and together even longer, but you wouldn’t know it because they are as affectionate, romantic, and loving as newlyweds.  It is obvious how in love they are, and it just left my heart warm. 

The Tedfords, Lance with Brandy and Mike, and me with Lance's vacation wife, Keith

Keith and Lance

San Marcos Academy Graduates

I've been communicating with Veronica on Facebook since I met her at the reunion two years ago.  She is incredibly friendly and sweet, and we spent the day at the Market in Wimberly.

Funny Picture.  It looks like Lance and Cindy are married, and Keith and I are a couple.  Cindy is the girl that Lance first kissed! 

Getting a big, warm hug from Paul.  He is very very easy to love.



Keith, Lance, and Fred.  Fred lives in L.A. and works out.  Can you tell?

Susan, Paige, and me...

Veronica and me....I think Veronica is gorgeous.

All the wonderful ladies at this reunion were incredibly funny and kind.  They were concerned they were too wild and out there for me, but they don’t know how crazy I am.  I have no inhibitions.  Lance is often afraid of what I will say or do. 

 

There was an open market on Saturday that I attended with Susan, Colleen, and Veronica (a wonderful lady who is Lance's classmate).  The market sold a variety of goods, but the heat was too unbearable for us to endure more than an hour outside. We left shortly after we arrived.

Lance often told me that Mike Tedford was his saving grace because his first year at San Marcos was a bit challenging as he was getting accustomed to transitioning to a boarding school.  Mike was older than him, and he looked up to Mike and wanted to be like Mike.  40 years later, I think that is pretty good goal to have….I want to be like Colleen and Mike.

Be Like Mike!!  They could be brothers since they both have that f-uped looking ear!

I will close with one final note.  One of Lance’s classmate pulled me aside after I was introduced to her and she said in a very serious yet complimentary tone.  “Liz, I just want you to know that you got the BEST man there.  He is the most good hearted….most sincere…most kindest….he is the BEST man ….”  She emphasized the word BEST.

 

Sometimes I do feel like I have the best man.  Other times, I want to kick his a**, and I guess that is normal.  Right now, I feel like I do have the best man, but I also want to kick his a** at the same time.

I am excited to get to know everyone better. I intend to go to more reunions.